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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23779777">The Angel and The One</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harryissuchalittleshit/pseuds/Harryissuchalittleshit'>Harryissuchalittleshit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Imprint Anthology [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Imprintee's becoming friends, Kim doesn't let Jacob push her around, Kim is wary of Jared at first, Miscarriage, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, This still has quite a bit of fluff, found family becomes REAL family, she does still have a crush on him at the beginning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:00:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,635</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23779777</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harryissuchalittleshit/pseuds/Harryissuchalittleshit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Rain was always coming here. She wasn’t one to stay anywhere for very long..."</p>
<p>Kim just wants to get out from under her parent's house, away from where anyone can hold her down. She's always looking for a way to escape, whether that be by her own means or by natures. She doesn't want to make friends, get tied down, or feel stuck in La Push.</p>
<p>Then she meets Jared.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jared Cameron/Kim Connweller, Johnny Cameron/Nat Young, Kati Cameron/Jay Young</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Imprint Anthology [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674550</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW: mentions of self harm, alcoholism, and drug use. This is some talk about miscarriages and going as far as talking about bleeding and hospitalization. </p>
<p>That being said, the rest of this is pretty fluffly, so enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Angel and the One<br/>By Weezer</p>
<p>Kim sat looking out at the gray water of First Beach, the clouds above were dark and angry, rain was coming. Rain was always coming here. She wasn’t one to stay anywhere for very long, her family drifted from reservation to reservation, until her father got fired and the money ran out. </p>
<p>She laid down in the sand, she wanted it to swallow her whole, trap her under the surface. When she was little, she used to dream of drowning, living under the surface of the water. She always thought that it would feel warm to drown under the surface.</p>
<p>She still wanted to drown.</p>
<p>Kim stared up at the dark clouds. They always looked angry, just like her mother. The clouds and her were one in the same, in a dark mood and angry at the world. Laying out in the rain was the closest she ever got to drowning.</p>
<p>Drowning would be so easy, sliding under the waves, just two tablespoons of water. Drowning would be safer than this disaster.</p>
<p>She wished to drown.</p>
<p>Kim closed her eyes as the rain started. Cold and refreshing and cleansing, it was like a baptism though she would never be found in a church of any kind. She wasn’t one for that life, that sort of judgement. She passed her own judgement on herself.</p>
<p>She opened her mouth and let the rain fall into her mouth, cold and clean and hard. She would drown, she would let herself drown.</p>
<p>Drowning would be like falling asleep.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>She opened her eyes, standing in front of her was Paul Lahote. He lived in the house behind her family, she didn’t know him very well, just saw him come and go from his bedroom window every night. She sometimes heard his music in the middle of the night and sometimes in the early morning. She always heard his truck whenever he was coming or going, the sound of it always gave her a strange comfort.</p>
<p>“I’m trying to drown,” she told him, staring up at him. He was tall with broad shoulders and hair so short, it looked shaved. He wore nothing except for a pair of black sweatpants and flip-flops. His eyes were a light brown, golden and bright, even under the dark rain clouds.</p>
<p>“Should go under the waves then,” said Paul, holding out his hand. Kim stared at it, until he bent down and held it closer to her chest.</p>
<p>Kim sighed and took his hand, letting him pick her up. His hands were incredibly warm, and she couldn’t help but hold on with both of hers, even after she was on her feet. </p>
<p>“Thanks,” Kim mumbled, making herself let go of his hand. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he started to walk up the beach, towards their houses.</p>
<p>“So how long are you going to pretend that you want to drown?” asked Paul as they walked through the rising tide. </p>
<p>Kim stayed quiet, she didn’t really know Paul other than trading CDs with him in the dark of the night. Mostly it was Weezer and My Chemical Romance and whatever she had on hand and whatever he wanted to educate her with.</p>
<p>He gave her a lot of Bob Dylan and Billy Joel and the Beatles to listen to, mostly old white men. She actually liked some of it, the rest was a bit overdone and gravelly and old sounding, but there were bits that she liked and some that she even loved.</p>
<p>“Until I make myself do it,” Kim told him, as they stepped off the beach and into the trees. She stumbled over a large root and felt Paul hold her up by the back of her hoodie.</p>
<p>“Careful there Kitty,” he said as he put her back on her feet. Kim rolled her eyes, he had been calling her that since they first met; he hadn’t heard her say Kim and instead thought she had said Kit.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” said Kim, brushing him off. He ignored her and put his arm back around her shoulders.</p>
<p>“He’ll be back to school tomorrow,” said Paul as they walked into their shared backyard. Kim knew who he was talking about, she didn’t want to talk to Paul about boys. It was hard enough for her to talk to him about anything really.</p>
<p>“Oh,” said Kim, as he dropped his arm from around her shoulders. She walked over to the tree where they stashed CDs for each other to listen to. She pulled out what he left and frowned at the titles and artists. “Paul what-“</p>
<p>But he was gone when she turned around, the only thing left was his flip-flops, which she picked up and shoved in through his slightly opened window. The little she could see of his room was messy and cluttered, with a small piano keyboard in the corner with a tall bookcase full of CDs behind it.</p>
<p>Kim turned away and walked over to her own bedroom window, carefully opening it and climbing onto her bed. Her own bedroom was clean and organized just the way she liked it, so she could know if anyone had been in there, had come looking.</p>
<p>Outside, she heard a long howl before the thunder started.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is unknown.</p>
<p>Life is unknown.</p>
<p>It’s all unknown, full of surprises and full of unexpected moments. It’s all unknown starts and it’s all unknown stops.</p>
<p>It has no end, it has no beginning.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared ran his hand through his too short hair, it still felt unnatural to him, still felt weird. He stared at the building in front of him, he didn’t want to go to school. The wolf inside of him was itching to burst through his veins, through his skin, and to run.</p>
<p>He wanted to run, he wanted to disappear into the woods and chase after the redhead.</p>
<p>He got out of his car and went to lock the door, before reaching back in for his backpack. He still thought that it wasn’t fair that Paul got to skive off. They were the same age, they both needed to graduate still.</p>
<p>Jared locked his car and headed into the building, he felt his senses go wild as he stepped through the front doors. The scents around him varied, but a few always stuck out to him, even before he phased.</p>
<p>He could smell Jacob Black, Quil Ateara, and Embry Call, the next three of the Tribe to phase. He still couldn’t understand how Embry was going to be part of the Pack, unless he shared a father with either Quil or Jacob or even Sam.</p>
<p>A few other scents passed over him, flowery and light, girls. Jared always loved girls of any type, pretty and smart and funny, he would take any. It helped that with phasing, he suddenly got a body to be desired. He was about six inches taller now than six months ago in June, and he had gained about thirty pounds of muscle in the same amount of time. It made him a bit of eye candy, not that he minded at all.</p>
<p>He headed down to his locker, shoving his backpack in and taking out his history and math books. He knew that he was behind, and that he would probably finish the year behind, but that was better than Paul.</p>
<p>Jared would be surprised if he even graduated at all.</p>
<p>He closed his locker and headed to his history class, sitting down in his assigned seat at the front of the class. Part of him wished that the last month hadn’t happened, that his biggest problem was that he didn’t have a girlfriend and that algebra was eating his brain.</p>
<p>“Alright, alright,” said Mr. Ervylee as he walked into the classroom, “quiet down everyone.”</p>
<p>Jared opened his history book, and pulled out one of the blank pieces of paper he kept in there to take notes with.</p>
<p>“Damn it,” he mumbled to himself, before quickly glancing around and leaning over to tap the elbow of the girl sitting next to him. “Hey, can I borrow-“</p>
<p>He stopped as the girl next to him turned to look at him, a pencil already in her hand. She was the prettiest girl he had ever seen, she had the most beautiful brown eyes, and her hair was so dark and shiny he just wanted to reach out and touch it. She was blushing slightly which only added to her appeal and it made her skin dark and rosy and coppery, so so beautiful.</p>
<p>“Here,” she said, holding out her hand a little farther, the pencil dangling from her fingertips.</p>
<p>Without thinking, Jared grabbed her hand and headed out of the classroom, pulling her along. This was not what he expected, not what was supposed to happen.</p>
<p>“Mr. Cameron, Miss Connweller,” said Mr. Ervylee, from the classroom door. “Are you planning on coming back to class? Or are you planning to go to the principals’ office for disturbing my class with your exit?”</p>
<p>“No, um, I’m not feeling well,” said the girl, Miss Connweller, Jared would need to find out what her name really was. “Jared is going to take me home. I’m sorry Mr. Ervylee.”</p>
<p>Jared nodded, and Mr. Ervylee looked from the girl to Jared and then back to the girl again before nodding.</p>
<p>“Alright then, next time sort this all out before class gets started,” said Mr. Ervylee before waving them off and going back into the classroom.</p>
<p>The girl pulled her hand out of his and started walking down the hall, away from him. Jared quickly caught up to her, she was taller than most of the girls he knew, though not by much. She was definitely taller than Emily, by at least two, maybe three inches.</p>
<p>“Quick thinking back there,” said Jared, as she stopped in front of locker, just a few down from his own. “My mind was going b-“</p>
<p>“What do you think you’re doing?” asked the girl as she started pulling on her locker door. “I need to go to class to graduate.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” said Jared, looking back to the door of their history classroom. “I just couldn’t be in there anymore.”</p>
<p>“Because you forgot your pencil?” she asked, before angrily punching her locker. Jared reached pass her and gently pulled on her locker handle, it opened easily for him.</p>
<p>“Umm,” said Jared, and watched as she put her books in her locker and grabbed her backpack and jacket.</p>
<p>“Look,” she said softly as she closed her locker and set her backpack on the floor to put on her jacket. “I need to get out of this town, off of the reservations. I can’t do that skipping class.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to leave,” he told her, and she rolled her eyes. Already he could tell that he was going to get used to her rolling her eyes at him.</p>
<p>“I already committed to it,” she said, looking up at him as she picked up her backpack. “Give me a ride home?”</p>
<p>“Umm,” said Jared, looking down at her, she had this look in her eyes that he couldn’t say no to, that he would never say no too. “Yeah, okay.”</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is unbelievable.</p>
<p>It’s wild and insane and crazy, it’s sweet and harmless and life changing. It grows old, changing and unchanging, it’s not a young man’s game. It’s not for the faint of heart.</p>
<p>Or is it.</p>
<p>Unyielding and unwanted and unforgiving. Love is not for her.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim stared at the scars.</p>
<p>She didn’t care about Jared’s warning, about whoever Sam Uley was and how he didn’t like anyone staring at Emily. She was still pretty, still beautiful, even if her face wasn’t symmetrical anymore.</p>
<p>She had her own ugly scars anyways.</p>
<p>She had refused the sandwiches and the fruit and even the water Emily had offered her. She had just wanted to go home, to curl up in a ball under her covers and go back to sleep. She just wanted to be anywhere but here with the cute boy who wouldn’t stop smiling at her.</p>
<p>Kim knew nothing of this, this whatever she walked into.</p>
<p>“No,” she said, looking away from Emily’s scars and back to Jared. “Just stop.”</p>
<p>Jared looked from her and over to Emily, who paused in her sandwich making to look at the pair of them. She felt like a bug under a microscope, being watched under close inspection, and trapped by the onlooker.</p>
<p>Kim sighed and looked down at the table, tracing the whirl in the wood. She glanced up at Jared through her eyelashes and saw him watching her with rapt attention. She didn’t know what to do about his sudden attention, she had a crush on him for a long time, a guilty pleasure if anything.</p>
<p>She had to stay focused on school, on getting out from under her parent’s thumb.</p>
<p>“Kim,” said Emily, breaking the uncomfortable silence, again. “What grade are you in?”</p>
<p>“I’m a junior,” said Kim, looking over at her and then deciding that there was no use in being uncomfortable. She toed her shoes off and tucked her feet underneath herself, then took her jacket off.</p>
<p>“Have you started looking at colleges yet?”</p>
<p>Kim didn’t know how to answer that one, she had started looking at online colleges. She got good grades and she knew she could get a couple of scholarships just by being native. She had no trouble with any of it, but admitting that she wanted to run away was not something that she actually wanted to tell anyone.</p>
<p>“No, not yet,” she told her, as the door opened behind her. Kim ducked her head, letting her hair fall into her face as she watched a tall man walk over to Emily. He was taller than Jared, and he also had the same short chopped hair, dark eyes, and dark skin, he had an air of power and importance to him.</p>
<p>Kim felt herself grow uneasy as he completely blocked Emily from her sight. It wasn’t as if she liked Emily, it was more that she didn’t like men who blocked her view. She tucked her feet farther underneath her, suddenly acutely aware of Jared watching her.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” asked Jared as the man moved and Emily came back into sight.</p>
<p>“What am I doing here Jared?”</p>
<p>Kim looked up at him, and he seemed to shrink under her gaze. She had once been told that she could cut someone with just her gaze, by Paul actually.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what’s going on,” said Jared, suddenly turning to look over at Emily and the man. “Sam help me.”</p>
<p>So this was Sam Uley.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is wild.</p>
<p>It’s messy and weird and unexpected. It’s up and down, and down and up, it’s circles and moves forward and backward. It’s not what anyone expects.</p>
<p>Life is wild too, so many ups and downs, so many moments that don’t make sense.</p>
<p>The world is a wild, wild place to live and love in.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared tapped on Kim’s window, she kept it cracked slightly to let him in and so she could sneak out whenever she needed to. He only stopped when he saw the white of her eyes through the small crack of space.</p>
<p>“It’s late,” she mumbled, reaching her fingers through the small space.</p>
<p>Jared leaned forward and kissed her fingertips, before smiling and pulling away. He wanted to climb up into her window and pulled her into his arms, he wanted to kiss every inch of her skin that he could find, wanted to touch whatever he could of her.</p>
<p>“Five minutes?” he whispered, and she rolled her eyes. She rolled her eyes at him at least fifteen times a day, and that was just when they saw each other at school, not any of the time before or after.</p>
<p>Kim put her hand under the window to try and push it up, but she was either too tired or not trying enough as it didn’t move. Jared pushed it up and watched as she rolled over as he climbed into her bed. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his chest.</p>
<p>Her blanket was thin, and not for the first time had he considered bringing her one from his house. His mom liked to make quilts, they were all over the house and most were untouched.</p>
<p>“Umm,” hummed Kim against his chest as she tucked herself into him. “So warm.”</p>
<p>Jared smiled and moved his hands under her shirt and along her spine. Rubbing her back and holding her against his chest. He didn’t worry about anyone hearing them, it was late, Kim was right on that. Her father was more than likely drunk and passed out somewhere in the house, her mother worked as a night attendant in Forks at the gas station, and her brothers were rarely home, though they would never bug Kim.</p>
<p>She had her own bathroom and a lock on her door which she almost never unlocked, even when she was home. She mostly came and went through her window, keeping everyone out that she wanted out.</p>
<p>Jared pulled her shirt off over her head and kissed her neck, moving his hands over her chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his face back to hers. She moaned into his mouth when he flicker her nipple piercing. </p>
<p>Kim had more surprises up her sleeve than Jared had ever imagined. She kept herself quite covered up at school or any time they were in public, even when they were at Emily’s she kept her arms and legs covered.</p>
<p>The first time he had seen the fine lines criss-crossing up and down her arms, he had cried. The emotion had hit him unexpectedly and she had ended up sobbing in his arms, the pair of them in the back of his car, sobbing together.</p>
<p>She had showed him the scars in a moment of tenderness and trust, and he apparently reacted in the right way. Since then they had grown closer and closer, with her showing him every scar and every mark on her skin.</p>
<p>She had several tattoos, the biggest being the wings on her back, then the lilies that went from her hip to her arm, and last the sparrows that circled her ankle, five in total. She wanted to get his initials over her heart, and it was such a loving gesture that he didn’t know how or what to do with it.</p>
<p>Jared pulled away and she smiled sleepily at him, before rubbing her fingers over his short, short hair. “I love you,” he whispered, leaning back down to kiss her again.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” she whispered lazily, bringing her mouth back to his.</p>
<p>It was the first time that she had ever said it back, they had been together since the day he brought her to Emily’s house. He had been so unsure when he finally took her home, watching her go around the side of the house to her bedroom window. He was practically hanging out of his car to try and watch her climb up into her bedroom.</p>
<p>Sam and Emily had been the help he needed, they needed. Sam and Emily sat across them at the table, a pile of sandwiches in front of all of them and quite an explanation for them.</p>
<p>Kim had taken it better than he expected, better than he ever imagined.</p>
<p>She pulled away from him this time, and he tucked her blanket around her shoulders. They had school tomorrow, and it was late, and she was going to ace the math test tomorrow because she was brilliant.</p>
<p>“Lay down with me,” said Kim, patting the space beside her.</p>
<p>Jared wrapped his arms around her waist and held her against his chest, he kissed her forehead, feeling her relax against him.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is calming.</p>
<p>It makes your shoulders and spine and whole body relax. It makes you smile and breathe easy. It makes everything better.</p>
<p>She falls into the calm, listens to the push and pull of the waves, to the love songs that crone and make her dizzy. His phasing gets easier, and he feels himself grow calm whenever she’s near, her scent, her body, her, it makes him calm.</p>
<p>They only work in the calm.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim shivered as she walked down the beach, they didn’t usually get snow storms in February, at least not like this. She adjusted her backpack and put her head down as she walked through the snow.</p>
<p>Her brothers were all together, Karson and Kevin left in the middle of the night, going to the twins Kamren and Karter’s house. Usually they brought her along, woke her up in the middle of the night with them and they all disappeared until the storm passed.</p>
<p>The storm that was their parents screaming and yelling and hitting each other. It was a match in which no one won and someone either ended up in jail or the hospital.</p>
<p>Kim rubbed her arms through the thin fabric of her jacket and turned away from the ocean and to the road. She didn’t know where to go or who to turn to, but it wasn’t safe to be at home, and she got in trouble with Paul’s father the last time she climbed through Paul’s window.</p>
<p>The snow clung to her hair and clothes and even her face as she walked. Her shoes were soaked and she could feel her feet and hands going numb. She had the hindsight to grab some clothes and her homework before she headed out into the storm.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” asked Emily on the other side of her front door, as Kim stomped her shoes on the front porch. “Kim get in here.”</p>
<p>Kim opened the door and let Emily pull her inside. Emily started pulling at her clothes and brushing the snow out of her hair. “You’re frozen,” said Emily and Kim rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“C-can I-“</p>
<p>“Go take a shower,” ordered Emily, putting her hands on Kim’s shoulders and pushing her to the direction of the bathroom. “I have plenty of clothes that you can borrow, just leave your wet clothes outside of the bathroom and I’ll put them in the wash for you.”</p>
<p>“T-Thanks,” said Kim, shivering as she headed to the bathroom. She started the shower and left her wet clothes outside the door like Emily asked her, before climbing into the shower. The hot water and steam thawed her out completely and by the time she stepped out, she was warm and toasty.</p>
<p>She dried herself off with the towels that Emily slipped in and got dressed in the clothes she had set out for her. She brushed and braided back her hair before walking out of the bathroom.</p>
<p>“You look warm,” said Emily from behind the kitchen counter, and Kim smiled. She was starting to warm up to Emily, bit by bit, she was nice and Kim had been a bit too quick to judge.</p>
<p>“Thanks for the clothes,” Kim told her, as she walked up to the counter. She reached forward for the peeler and got started on peeling the potatoes. The pair of them fell into an easy silence, peeling and chopping and cooking together.</p>
<p>Kim didn’t really know how to cook, but Emily was patience and a good teacher. She didn’t yell or complain when Kim did something wrong or was going too slow for her, instead she just gently corrected and pushed Kim in the right direction.</p>
<p>“What are we making anyways?” asked Kim as Emily started slicing up the potatoes.</p>
<p>“Potato gratin, I made it a few weeks ago and the boys went crazy over it,” said Emily, as she put the potatoes in a large bowl of cold water to soak the starch out. “I also got two chickens in the oven for them to attack too.”</p>
<p>Kim nodded, “maybe we should make some peas too, or even carrots. I know Jared isn’t a big fan of the green stuff.”</p>
<p>Emily laughed and reached behind her, dropping two large bags of carrots in front of Kim. “Here you are then, we’ll glaze them in brown sugar and honey.”</p>
<p>Kim sighed, and looked down at her hands, she wanted to get one last look of them before they became a permanent orange. She was starting to get used to the large portions and the cooking and Sam, Paul, Jared, and Emily being in her life.</p>
<p>They already felt like family, more than her parents or brothers.</p>
<p>“Kim,” said Emily, setting her knife down beside the cutting board, “you know that you can tell us anything, me or Jared or Paul or Sam. You’re family now, you belong with us. And if you need a place to stay for a while-“</p>
<p>“Emily,” said Kim softly, looking the other woman in the eyes. “Thank you for letting me in and teaching me to cook and listening to what I have to say. But I’m fine, I’ll be fine, and what happens between my parents isn’t anyone’s business. I’ve been dealing with this for so long, all of us have and-”</p>
<p>Before Kim could say too much more, Emily walked around and hugged her. It was different than any of the warm hugs that Jared gave her or that she got from her brothers, this was the kind of hug she always wanted from her mother. Without meaning to, she felt herself break, felt herself start to cry as Emily held her.</p>
<p>Kim pulled away as the front door opened behind them. She quickly wiped at her eyes and turned around to see the boys standing in the door.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” asked Paul, he knew the most about Kim’s home life, other than the little Kim had told Jared. Paul had even once met her parents, back when they moved to La Push, while Jared still had yet to meet her brothers.</p>
<p>“Nothing,” said Kim, as Jared walked the short distance over to her and wiped away a stray tear.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here though? I thought you had a lot of homework,” said Jared, and Kim rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“I tell you that every weekend,” said Kim, but Jared didn’t smile. “It’s okay, don’t worry.”</p>
<p>Jared nodded and Kim went back to peeling potatoes and carrots. After a minute, Emily gave Jared a peeler and he started helping her.</p>
<p>“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” whispered Jared, and Kim almost dropped her carrot.</p>
<p>“Why are all of you more like a family to me than my own?” Kim asked Jared, turning to look up at him. “It’s not fair that I don’t get to have a real family.”</p>
<p>“You just said that we were your family,” said Jared with a small smile, “sometimes it’s the people you find and not the people you’re born into that matter.”</p>
<p>“Or the boy who drags you out of history class and into this mayhem,” said Kim, smiling up at him and elbowing him lightly.</p>
<p>She went back to her peeling, but after a moment felt Jared kiss the top of her head. </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is whispered conversations.</p>
<p>Late at night or in the early morning, back and forth across a pillow, a table, the center car consul. It’s always about the little things, goodbyes and good mornings and hellos after a quick kiss. </p>
<p>Sometimes it’s the big things, her parents and brothers, his parents and the Pack, their friends, their interests, their life together. Sometimes it’s not even about them, sometimes about one of his Pack brothers, about one of the other girls, about what they were studying in school.</p>
<p>Sometimes it’s just about love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared opened his eyes, laying in front of him was Kim, in just her bra and underwear, looking so beautiful and peaceful and perfect. She had all of her piercings in, and he could see most of her tattoos, they had made him nervous at first, but seeing how confidant she was with them, he had fallen in love with them.</p>
<p>He moved forward and kissed her shoulder, before moving his lips along to her neck and finally her cheek. He could tell that she was awake since he first kissed her shoulder, and he knew that she was waiting for him to kiss her by the sudden tension in her shoulders.</p>
<p>“Good morning,” he whispered, and she opened her eyes just enough for him to see the whites of her eyes.</p>
<p>“It’s early,” she mumbled, rolling over into his chest. “Too early to be awake.”</p>
<p>Jared smiled and kissed her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he mumbled, as he rubbed her back. “I just woke up too.”</p>
<p>“Is your mom home?” asked Kim, before she put her head into his neck. He listened closely, he couldn’t hear anything other than his own heartbeat, and Kim’s.</p>
<p>“No,” he told her as the door opened and closed downstairs. “Or maybe she is.”</p>
<p>“Good job Cameron,” Kim mumbled into his neck, and Jared put a hand over his mouth to muffle his own laughter.</p>
<p>He couldn’t help but be in love with Kim, she was so funny and smart and sarcastic. That was actually the best part of her, her sense of humor seemed to stump everyone around them, but it always made him laugh.</p>
<p>“I tried,” he told her, as he went back to rubbing along her spine. She sighed into his neck and he pulled his blanket over them.</p>
<p>“Have you told her yet?” she mumbled, and he sighed.</p>
<p>“She knows about the whole pack thing, but I don’t know how to tell her about you,” he told her, this was a conversation that they went around every time they woke up in the others bed. He wanted her to tell her parents or even her brothers about him, and she wanted him to introduce her to his parents, or at least his mother.</p>
<p>“I told Karson and Kevin about us,” she said, as he started playing with her hair. It had grown out quite a bit in the last few months, he loved it, he loved being able to play with her hair, braid and unbraid it at her whim. “They want to meet you properly.”</p>
<p>“They do?” asked Jared, he didn’t know the proper procedure for meeting your girlfriend’s brothers.</p>
<p>“Yeah, once all the Pack stuff calms down, I want you to meet all of my brothers,” said Kim, lifting her head up and resting her chin on his chest. “I don’t know how they’ll handle you, but I want you to meet them.”</p>
<p>“You want them to meet me?” asked Jared and Kim rolled her eyes. </p>
<p>“Yes,” she said wrapping her arms around his neck. “Yes, I want them to meet you and I want them to like you and for you to like them.”</p>
<p>“It’s four against one, Kim. I don’t think I get much of a choice,” he told her, and she rolled her eyes again. </p>
<p>“I think you can handle the four of them,” said Kim, rolling off of him and on to the bed. “Turn into a wolf and you won’t have to deal with any of them trying to gang up on you.”</p>
<p>Jared laughed and pulled her into his arms, kissing her neck and cheeks and whatever skin he could land on.</p>
<p>“Jared,” she whined, grabbing his face and pulling his mouth to hers.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is unwavering.</p>
<p>It’s a stand your ground sort of situation, it’s a fight or fight situation, it’s a Jared and Kim situation. It’s standing for what you love and standing for what is right, it’s standing in front of him or her and giving them your heart.</p>
<p>It’s love in its most protective stance. Love in the name of love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim wrapped her arms around Jared’s waist, tucking her face into his shoulder. She didn’t know what she was supposed to say, Embry had been easy, he was so nice and sweet and kind, but Jacob was different. They all knew what Jacob was, what he was supposed to be.</p>
<p>Everyone was quiet as the Alpha stared them down. Kim felt nervous for the first time ever in Jacob Black’s presence.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” asked Jacob, looking at her. His dark eyes, which used to be so kind and warm, were now hard and angry and mean.</p>
<p>“I,” said Kim nervously, “I was helping Emily-“</p>
<p>“Jake,” said Embry angrily, and Kim felt Jared’s hand tighten on her wrist. “Leave her alone, you’re not angry at Kim.”</p>
<p>“Well why is she here?” asked Jacob, his voice getting lower as he started shaking. “Why does she get to know?”</p>
<p>Kim felt Emily take her hand and pull her farther back into the kitchen. “Sam get him out of here,” said Emily, as she squeezed Kim’s hand reassuringly. </p>
<p>Sam did as he was told and the rest of them filed out after them, except Jared, who turned to look at Kim. “Are you okay?” he asked and Kim nodded as Sam yelled for Jared to come out. Kim saw him flinch and wanted to comfort him, it was hard for him to not listen to the Alpha’s orders, but apparently Kim came before the Pack.</p>
<p>“Jared!” yelled Sam, poking his head back in the door. “Jake’s run off.”</p>
<p>“Go,” said Kim, hearing her voice break. “Go on.”</p>
<p>Jared and Sam left, the pair of them running out of the house, the second Kim and Emily couldn’t hear anything other than their own breathing, Kim broke. She fell to the floor and started crying. It wasn’t fair, none of this was fair, Jared shouldn’t have had to listen to Sam or Jacob or any of the others because he wasn’t a direct descendent of Ephraim Black. </p>
<p>“Kim,” said Emily softly, rubbing her back and shoulders. “Its okay, Jacob just doesn’t know everything yet. He’s the Alpha, but he’s also only sixteen, and this is new to him as it is the rest of us.”</p>
<p>“You’ve had much more practice than me,” said Kim, holding up Emily’s left hand, where the ring that Sam had bought her was on her fourth finger.</p>
<p>“It helps that I’m a bit older,” said Emily, while Kim put her head on Emily’s shoulder. Kim knew the whole Leah/Sam/Emily story, and it still made her heartbreak over the thought of Leah being left out of the loop. Of Leah being angry and heartbroken over Sam, over Emily.</p>
<p>“Not that much older,” said Kim, with a small smile.</p>
<p>Emily petted Kim’s hair and gave it a small tug before she stood up, helping Kim up to her feet. “Now let’s make them something to eat, as we already know that this will blow over soon enough. If Jacob went pretty far then they’ll be more hungry than usual.”</p>
<p>Kim did as Emily told her, and let herself be directed. She wasn’t paying much attention to what she was doing, but Emily wasn’t having her cut anything up with a knife today. She was slowly learning her knife skills, but it really was slow going, especially with Jared around, he was nervous watching her handle anything sharp.</p>
<p>“Have you taken Jared to meet your brothers yet?” asked Emily, and Kim stopped her whisking. </p>
<p>“He’s been so busy with the vampires and Embry and Jacob that we haven’t been able to get away long enough to go down to Seattle,” Kim told her, as she looked at Emily. “If we could just get a weekend to ourselves-“</p>
<p>“You know that they can’t do that right now,” said Emily and Kim nodded, staring down at the pancake batter in the bowl.</p>
<p>“I know,” said Kim, picking up the whisk again, “I just hoped that he would be able to come down for a few days for spring break.”</p>
<p>“Well you know that your welcomed to hang out here with me,” said Emily, but Kim already knew that she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to spend time with her brothers.</p>
<p>“Maybe,” said Kim, getting back to work, “thank you for the offer.”</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is space.</p>
<p>Space means so much, it means to be apart, to be without, to be away. Space hurts, it makes you miss what you had, makes you miss her, him, the two of you together. Space is a longing, a loving longing feeling, it’s the feeling of loss.</p>
<p>Loss is the same as space, and space is love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared curled up in his bed, he knew it was ridiculous, but he missed Kim. He missed her like breathing, missed her like the sun, she was only going to be gone for the week, but it had only been a few hours and he already felt anxious. He had once laughed at the thought of separation anxiety, but now he felt like he couldn’t breathe.</p>
<p>Kim would be gone for six days, and she was only going to be in Seattle, but with how things were progressing with the redhead leech, she was better off down in the city with her brothers.</p>
<p>He perked up when he heard the howling, but it was only Embry, he put his head back down. Kim had made fun of him once when he ran off because he heard Sam’s howl, asking him how he knew it was his.</p>
<p>Jared sighed and squeezed his eyes close, rolling over in his bed. It was too small now, impossibly small with both him and Kim, they couldn’t lay side by side together, usually she ended up using him as a pillow at some point in the night. </p>
<p>“Jared!”</p>
<p>He groaned and climbed out of bed, he knew that he couldn’t get away with ignoring his mom.</p>
<p>“Jared! Phone!”</p>
<p>He ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, his mother was holding the phone against her ear, chattering away. Her back was to him, though he was sure that she heard him come downstairs. “He has locked himself away in his room since you’ve left town, Kim,” said his mother, looping the phone cord around her finger. “I’ve never seen him like this before. You’ll be home soon right?”</p>
<p>Jared wanted to rip the phone out of her hands, Kim was his girlfriend, his imprint, his soulmate. She was the love of his life, the most important person in his world, in the world.</p>
<p>“Oh, well,” said his mother, “I hope that you enjoy your trip and have fun with your family, Jared is right behind me so I’ll hand you over to him.”</p>
<p>Jared eagerly took the phone from his mother and pressed the receiver to his ear. “Kim,” breathed Jared, he knew that he was being ridiculous, he had seen her before she left that morning.</p>
<p>“Jared,” said Kim and he could hear the smile in her voice, “I love you so much.”</p>
<p>“Is something wrong?” asked Jared, looping the phone cord around his fingers. “Did you make it down okay? Are your brothers fighting? Is it-“</p>
<p>“Jared,” said Kim softly, with a small laugh. “We just made it here, I wanted to let you know that I’m safe and we’re off the road for now. We are about to go out for a while, can I call you tonight when we get in?”</p>
<p>Jared sighed, not sure what to tell her. It all honestly depended when she was getting in.</p>
<p>“What time?” he whispered, untangling his fingers from the cord. </p>
<p>“I don’t know, probably too late, I’ll call again in the morning,” said Kim softly, and he could see her standing in a small apartment kitchen, twisting her hair in her fingers over and over and over again. “I should probably get going though, Kamren is calling for me.”</p>
<p>“Kim,” said Jared, he didn’t know what to tell her, what he even wanted to say, just the sound of her voice made him feel better. “Call me at Emily’s, I’ll be there tonight after patrols.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” said Kim and he could hear the smile in her voice again, “I love you Jared, I’ll call you tonight. I have to go now.”</p>
<p>“I love you Kim Connweller,” he told her, just before the phone line went dead. Jared put the phone back on the wall and pressed his head against the wall, as crazy as it was, he already missed her again.</p>
<p>“Jared,” called his mother, and he turned towards her. “Is everything okay between you two?”</p>
<p>Jared looked at his mother, she was so small, smaller than even Emily, and thinner than Kim. But that didn’t make her presence any smaller, Jared was always aware of his mother, where she was and what she was doing. She was always watching over him, she even knew about the whole Pack thing, and when Jared had finally introduced Kim to her, she had welcomed her in the only way she knew.</p>
<p>She had made Kim her famous blueberry pancakes and fresh squeezed orange juice, when Jared had brought her down from his room the other morning. He had honestly thought that his mother was on her way out, not waiting for them at the kitchen table.</p>
<p>But she had been nice, she had made them food, and then she lectured them on safe sex. His mother being the middle school science and health teacher had embarrassed Jared back in middle school, and he wasn’t sure who was more embarrassed about the matter, him or Kim.</p>
<p>“No mom,” Jared told her, as she put a hand on his shoulder. “She’s just away for the week while I’m stuck here.”</p>
<p>“Then go.”</p>
<p>Jared stared at her. She had no idea how hard that was, he couldn’t just leave the Pack, not with the redhead vampire lurking about, and not with them watching over the Swan girl.</p>
<p>“I can’t mom, Pack stuff,” Jared told her, as he heard a howl in the distance, this one made all of his hair stand on end. Jacob.</p>
<p>Sam was their current Alpha, but the second that Jacob wanted the job, they would have no choice but to listen.</p>
<p>“Mom,” said Jared, but she waved her hand at him. “Sorry.”</p>
<p>He slipped out the kitchen door and ran towards the tree line a few yards outside the door, the second he was a few feet into the trees, he took off his shirt and pants and phased. His mom knew about the whole Pack thing, but she didn’t approve of him ripping up his clothes every time he phased.</p>
<p>He was running to meet up with the others, letting their thoughts float around him, Sam had just been with Emily, and Jared wanted nothing more than to ignore his thoughts.</p>
<p>“Jared!”</p>
<p>He ran pass Paul and Embry, as they joined up with Jacob and Sam, the five of them taking their rightful positions. Sam in the lead, with Jared a length behind to his right, and Paul a length behind him on his left, with Embry and Jacob two full lengths behind the three of them.</p>
<p>Jacob was showing them what he had seen, the images of the redhead filling the Pack’s mind. Paul was picking up on the scent, he had the best nose of them all.</p>
<p>“This way.”</p>
<p>Sam veered them right, and suddenly they were all hit with the sickly sweet smell of the leech.</p>
<p>“Gah, why is it so bad?”</p>
<p>“Shut up Embry!”</p>
<p>“We’re on the trail, let’s go!”</p>
<p>“Go, go, go!”</p>
<p>Jared pushed himself forward, right at Sam’s heels and focused on what he could see, miles ahead of them. The redhead was only a mile or two in front of them, but beyond that he could see a figure at the cliffs.</p>
<p>“Bella!”</p>
<p>Jacob surged pass all of them, his large frame shooting pass even Sam. He was going to ruin this, being so focused on the Swan girl was going to get one of them hurt.</p>
<p>Jared stopped as a new mind joined them, they had been waiting for Quil to join them. They had been watching and waiting, even Kim had been spying on him, they had also been waiting for Seth Clearwater, though they all expected him to come in another year or so.</p>
<p>None of them expected Leah Clearwater. None of them moved as they watched Rose scream, as they watched Harry fall to the floor and hold his chest, not even when Seth joined them, did they move.</p>
<p>When Jacob’s thoughts left them, Sam finally snap back.</p>
<p>“Jared, Embry, go to the Clearwater house, get Leah and Seth out of there, I’ll be there as soon as I find Jacob. Paul, go to Billy’s, he’ll need to be there for Sue. We’ll meet back at Emily’s when we get things straight.”</p>
<p>“What about the leech? She’ll get away!”</p>
<p>“Go!”</p>
<p>Jared ran toward the Clearwater house, with Embry at his heels. He had no idea what he would find, what he would see once he got there.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is touch.</p>
<p>Holding his hand, kissing his lips, letting him wrap her up in his arms, so big, so strong. It’s brushing his short hair with her fingers, rubbing the sore muscles of his shoulders, putting her hands on his bare chest.</p>
<p>Holding her hand, kissing her lips, letting her wrap her arms around his neck, feeling so vulnerable with her. It’s braiding her hair, rubbing her sore feet, wrapping his arms around her waist.</p>
<p>It’s him, it’s her, it’s the pair of them together. It’s not leaving the bed, the couch, the place they fell into. It’s kissing, soft and slow and gentle; it’s tracing the scars on their arms, chest, face; it’s his fingers barely touching her skin, tracing her tattoos; it’s her fingers moving down his arms, his chest, his legs, tracing the muscles under his skin.</p>
<p>It’s a connection, it’s him and her together, always together.</p>
<p>It’s love, love for him, love for her.</p>
<p>Touch is love. </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim glared at the black cardigan around her shoulders, it was too short, just a few inches too short. She wasn’t worried about her wrists, about the ribbon tattooed into her skin on her left wrist and the semicolon on her right. It was the inch above where the thin, straight scars started.</p>
<p>“No one will notice,” said Jared, as Kim went back to her closet, she just wanted to wear her hoodie. Just wanted to be covered up completely.</p>
<p>“I will,” said Kim, as she pulled out a dark long sleeve shirt and a dark skirt, they didn’t match, and the skirt was too short. “I see them every day, every time I take off my clothes, every time I look in the mirror I know they’re there Jared!”</p>
<p>She knew she was being a bit irrational, but they were already running late. Jared had gone with Jacob and Embry to Forks that morning, something about one of the Cullens being in town. </p>
<p>“Kim,” whispered Jared, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into her chest. “It’s okay, you’ll be wearing your coat at the funeral, and you can change for the wake. We’ll come back here, you’ll find something else to wear, and we’ll show up late to eat the last of the food.”</p>
<p>Kim turned in his arms and held his face in her hands. She kissed him softly, before turning back to her closet.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to do that,” she said as she sifted through her clothes again. “Especially because I found something that’ll work.”</p>
<p>She pulled on the long cardigan and walked pass Jared to the bed, and her window.</p>
<p>“Let’s go,” she told him, climbing out of the window and landing on her feet. She looked over her shoulder as Jared climbed out the window, for some reason it always made her laugh, he was just slightly too big for the frame.</p>
<p>Jared grabbed her hand and led her over to his car, opening the door for her and keeping his hand on her knee. She didn’t really want to go, after attending all four of her grandparents funerals in one year three years ago, the thought of going to another one, even a Tribe Elder’s, made her want to run.</p>
<p>“We’re so late,” said Jared as he led her through the crowd and to the front of the mourners. Kim pulled on his arm a few feet back from the others in the Pack, it wasn’t that she couldn’t face Sam, or Jacob, or Quil, or Embry, it was that she couldn’t face Seth or Rose or Leah or even their mother Sue.</p>
<p>She knew what it was like to be a mourner, a family member of the dead, she knew what it was like to have people you didn’t know tell you how sorry they were. Jared still had four grandparents, both of his parents, and he was an only child. He didn’t know what this felt like.</p>
<p>Kim didn’t hear a word of the ceremony, she kept her eyes on Rose Clearwater instead. She was tiny between Leah and Seth, and she was shaking between her crying siblings. Kim could relate, she could understand what it was like to be the only one not crying surrounded by crying siblings.</p>
<p>Kim gripped Jared’s hand and held on tight. Having him beside her made this easier to stand through, it made everything easier.</p>
<p>“Come on,” whispered Jared, and Kim felt herself snap out of the fog she had been in. Jared pulled her forward, over to Sam and Emily and a few of the others. Kim stepped forward and pulled Emily into her arms, holding the shorter girl to her chest. </p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Kim told Emily, as she rubbed her back. “It’ll be okay.”</p>
<p>“He was like a father to me,” whispered Emily in between sobs. “Everything was starting to fall into place, Leah and I even-“</p>
<p>“Emily,” whispered Kim, cutting her off because she didn’t know how close they were, how much she should know. “You don’t have to tell me.”</p>
<p>Emily put her face into Kim’s chest and Kim looked up to see Leah Clearwater staring her down, she looked furious and Kim felt like she was suddenly in the wrong. Emily was Leah’s cousin, her best friend, and Kim was now in the wrong.</p>
<p>“Em,” said Sam, stepping into Kim’s line of vision, “we need to get back to the Clearwater’s house.”</p>
<p>Kim helped Sam get a hold of Emily, and lead her away, before turning to Jared. She laced her fingers through his and held on tight.</p>
<p>“I can’t go to the Clearwater’s house with you,” Kim told him as they sat in his car. The Clearwater’s house was just down the road from where they were parked. “I can’t just stand there in a fog and try to care about a man I didn’t know.”</p>
<p>“Kim,” said Jared softly, as more mourners showed up, walking pass the car. “I need yo-“</p>
<p>“No,” said Kim, bunching up the fabric of her dress skirt in her hands. “I can’t do it. I can’t-“</p>
<p>“I need you to do it for me!” yelled Jared and Kim felt tears in her eyes. “I can’t go in there alone after you came to the funeral!”</p>
<p>“Jared,” said Kim, looking out the window. “If I go with you, then I’m going to go hide in the bathroom and cut myself. I’m going to hurt myself and make you worry and you’re going to get upset. I don’t want to do that, so please can you go by yourself and I’ll walk home.”</p>
<p>“Take my car, I’ll come get it after,” said Jared, dropping his keys into her lap. Kim turned her head and looked at him, he looked so hurt and angry, but Kim could feel the itch.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” said Kim, wiping at her eyes. “I’m sorry that I’m like this.”</p>
<p>“I’ll see you as soon as I can get away,” said Jared, reaching over and lightly squeezing her wrist. “I love you, Kim.”</p>
<p>“I love you too,” said Kim, as Jared got out of the car.</p>
<p>She watched him as he walked over to the house, following the other mourners. She climbed over the consul and into the driver’s seat, she felt bad having to readjust the seat just to be able to drive.</p>
<p>Kim parked Jared’s car in front of Paul’s house, and climbed out into the rain. She climbed into her room through the window and went straight to the shower, throwing off her clothes as she went.</p>
<p>Once the bathroom was foggy and steamy and hot, she went into the shower and let the heat relax her muscles.</p>
<p>The razor felt more familiar than she would ever admit to Jared, he didn’t need to know about this. He definitely didn’t need to see her doing this.</p>
<p>He didn’t need to see her in this weakness, in this pain.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is painful.</p>
<p>Screaming, hurtful, crying pain, so bright that you can’t see, so painful that you can’t breathe. It’s worse than broken bones, worse than cuts and bruises, worse than death. </p>
<p>Her love has always been painful, always been hard and broken. Her love is a whisper in the dark, a whisper between two lovers where neither can see each other in the night.</p>
<p>His love doesn’t know pain, it never has been painful or known pain. His love is shouted from the rooftops, it’s a shot in clear daylight.</p>
<p>Their love isn’t as painful as anyone could know, would ever know.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared climbed into Kim’s bedroom through the window, he could see the clothes she had been wearing earlier on the floor and hear the shower running. He had no idea how long she had been home, but steam was still pouring out of the bathroom, so she couldn’t have been in there for too long.</p>
<p>He took off his dress jacket and set it on her desk, before slipping off his shoes and unbuckling his belt. He laid down on Kim’s bed and started unbuttoning his shirt, it was weird how exhausted he was, how emotionally drained he felt.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” asked Kim, as she walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her. </p>
<p>Jared looked at her, something was off, she was tense as if she was a caged animal, trapped in her own cell. Kim walked to her closet and started rifling through the clothes, the muscles of her shoulders getting tighter and tighter as she angrily pushed her clothes around.</p>
<p>“Kim?”</p>
<p>He stood up and walked over to her, softly touching her shoulder. A shock went through his system the second he touched her, she was like a livewire, or a snake ready to strike.</p>
<p>“Don’t touch me, Jared,” said Kim, shrugging his hand off of her.</p>
<p>Jared took a step back, he couldn’t remember the last time she had been this cold to him. He had no clue what had happened in the time they had been apart.</p>
<p>“I thought you weren’t going to cut yourself if you didn’t go,” said Jared, as she turned around to glare at him. “I would’ve stayed with you if-“</p>
<p>“Don’t,” said Kim, taking a step back from him. “Don’t make this a big deal.”</p>
<p>“Kim,” said Jared, feeling his emotions build in his chest. “Kim your killing yourself and I’m not allow to stop you? You’re the love of my life Kim! You’re cutting yourself and trying to hide this from me! Is this why you couldn’t come and stand beside me and hold my fucking hand?! Is this why you wouldn’t comfort Emily?”</p>
<p>He was shaking, starting to feel the familiar shock of heat run down his spine that meant he was going to phase. </p>
<p>“Jared,” said Kim, a sob in her voice and tears streaming down her face. “Stop, please?”</p>
<p>He felt the tremors in his shoulder stop, as if flipped by a switch. She reached out a hand to him, and he took it, letting her take the two steps that separated them. He pressed his nose to the top of her head, she smelled like vanilla, the scent lingered to her hair and clothes and skin. </p>
<p>It calmed him.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” she whispered, as he took her wrist and turned it in his hand. On the inside of her arm, just above her elbow was six new lines, perfectly straight and already clean. They would need to be bandaged and wrapped.</p>
<p>“Me too,” whispered Jared, rubbing her back under her towel. “I shouldn’t have-“</p>
<p>“No,” said Kim, looking up at him. “You’re allowed to be angry at me, Jared. I don’t know how to deal with these kind of emotions, with funerals and wakes and how to comfort Emily.”</p>
<p>“That’s okay,” said Jared, he brushed away the tears that had collected in her eyes again. “I just needed you to hold my hand and stand beside me. You didn’t have to do anything else, just be at my side.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” said Kim, reaching up on her toes, Jared leaned down and met her halfway. He kissed her softly on the lips, only breaking away to kiss her forehead and go to the bathroom to get her the bandages he knew were stashed behind the mirror.</p>
<p>He opened the cabinet and grabbed the bandages, and as he started to close the cabinet, he grabbed the small box of razorblades. He found the three in her shower, and threw them all in the toilet bowl before flushing them all.</p>
<p>He came out of the bathroom to find her sitting on the bed, in a light blue sundress, her arm held out for him to wrap her up.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is the act of forgiveness.</p>
<p>She whispers sorry over and over again, whispers it across the pillow as he snores into her hair, whispers it when she disappears from whosever bed their sharing. He tells her sorry over and over again, tells her over the phone when he has to cancel plans, tells her as when Sam calls for them at different times of the day and night.</p>
<p>They’re always sorry, always forgiving each other, always saying the words over and over again.</p>
<p>I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry, forgive me.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim tucked herself in beside Jared, she looked up when Jacob walked in the door. She felt bad for him, more than she normally felt bad for the Pack boys. Jacob was not just a member of the Pack, he was the supposed Alpha and he was going to be the Tribe’s next Chief, taking on the responsibility from his father, Billy. </p>
<p>He also was in love with the Swan girl.</p>
<p>“Does she have to come?” asked Jacob, and Kim rolled her eyes at him. </p>
<p>“She’s part of the Pack, Jacob,” said Emily, from behind the kitchen counter. “Unless you don’t want me to come and see Bella either.”</p>
<p>“Well,” said Jacob, biting his lower lip, and Kim suddenly knew exactly why he was being like this.</p>
<p>“She won’t see my scars,” Kim told him, pulling at the cuff of her sleeves. </p>
<p>“I’m so tired,” she whispered to Jared, as she put her face into his chest. “I should’ve skipped school after lunch like you did.”</p>
<p>Jared kissed her forehead and helped her sit up as Billy started telling the legends. She knew them from school, it was required for every student at the La Push high school, she had taken the class with the younger of her brothers.</p>
<p>She didn’t know if it was the coolness of the air, the darkness of the night, or just Billy and Old Quil’s voices telling the stories, but she felt something magical in the air. The fire was glowing bright and with each twist and turn in the story it was as if it grew bigger, as if someone had put another branch on the flames.</p>
<p>Throughout the night, whenever she started to feel restless, Kim looked at the others sitting around the fire. At Emily who was writing as if her life depended on it; Sam who was staring deep into the flames, his lips barely moving as if he was trying to memorize the stories himself; Quil who looked lost, as if he was realizing how strange this life was; Leah, who Kim had met only once before in the last year, who was crying as if she was listening to a horror story; and Bella and Jacob, Bella looked curious, waiting for more, while Jacob seemed bored. Kim was sure that he grew up listening to the legends more than anyone else sitting around the fire, other than maybe Quil or possibly Leah and Seth.</p>
<p>“Kim,” whispered Jared, jostling her lightly. Kim slowly opened her eyes, she had no idea when she fell asleep, but the Elders were gone, along with Seth and Jacob and Bella. “Kim wake up.”</p>
<p>“Jared,” she mumbled, looking up at him. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck as he stood up, helping her get to her feet. “I’m so tired, Jared.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” he said, quickly leaning down and scooping her up into his arms. Kim pressed her head against his chest again, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. “Let’s get you home.”</p>
<p>Kim was faintly aware of Jared saying goodbye to the others, but she was too tired to say goodnight herself. She felt Jared rock her as he carried her down from the cliffs and on his way back to her house. The clifftop meeting place was closer to her house than his.</p>
<p>“Stay with me,” Kim whispered as she climbed in through her bedroom window. “We can sleep in and skip homeroom.”</p>
<p>“I can’t skip anymore school Kim,” said Jared and Kim frowned at him, reaching out her arm to grab his shoulder.</p>
<p>“That’s fine,” she whispered, curling her fingers into his shirt. “We’ll wake up on time and go to school, and take a nap as soon as we get home.”</p>
<p>“Why don’t I go home now and come pick you up first thing in the morning?” he whispered and Kim rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“At least lay with me until I fall asleep?” asked Kim, she pouted slightly, just enough to get him to agree with her.</p>
<p>“Okay,” he said and Kim moved back from the window so he could climb in. She closed her eyes and cuddled into his arms as he rubbed her back. She sighed as he kissed her forehead and rested his head on her shoulder.</p>
<p>“I love you,” she whispered, playing with his fingers. “Thank you for standing up to Jacob for me.”</p>
<p>Jared sighed and Kim looked up at him, his face was unreadable, but his eyes were angry. “He has no right to forbid you from coming to a council meeting. You’re part of the Tribe, part of the Pack, just like the rest of us.”</p>
<p>“I’m not really part of the Tribe Jared,” said Kim, tucking her head back into his chest. “I’m just your girlfriend.”</p>
<p>“You’re my everything Kim,” said Jared, as his lips brushed along her cheek and neck and shoulder. “And you’re part of this Tribe and the Pack and our world. I’ll always fight for you, even if Jacob doesn’t think I should.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>“I love you Kim,” whispered Jared and Kim smiled, untucking her head to kiss him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. She wouldn’t give him up for anything, wouldn’t want to give him up for anything. He was her everything, the love of her life.</p>
<p>“Stay the night,” she whispered, as his hands stilled, she tucked herself farther into his chest. “Please stay with me?”</p>
<p>“Always.”</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is strength.</p>
<p>Holding yourself together despite the need to fall apart, to keep the others in your life, to hold everything together. It’s her need to keep her brother’s near, to stay in contact despite her life moving and changing and going forward. It’s his need to hold her together, to hold the pack together, to hold his parents together.</p>
<p>It’s the strength to keep yourself together, to hold up those you need to, to lift up others.</p>
<p>It’s the strength to love, to break down and care for someone else, to love someone. To love her, to love him, to even say the words out loud.</p>
<p>I love you.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared walked through the front door, tired and hungry and in need of Kim, he just wanted to see her, the sleep and food could wait until later. He just needed her, somedays it felt like he needed her more than air, more than water or food, more than breathing.</p>
<p>He walked quickly pass the kitchen, where his mother was, she loved Kim, almost as much as she loved Jared, maybe even more. He took the stairs two at a time, but stopped at the landing, something smelled off, like rust. The air was static and chaotic and…and something was wrong.</p>
<p>“Kim?” called Jared, as he slowly walked to his bedroom door, it was summer now, his mother loved Kim so she was spending more time at their house than her own. “Kimmy?”</p>
<p>He felt all of the air in his lungs escape, Kim was laying on the floor, her breathing shallow and her heartbeat erratic. He bent down and carefully scooped her up in his arms, the rug on his floor was soaked with blood. </p>
<p>“Mom!” yelled Jared, running down the stairs with Kim still in his arms. “Mom, Kim- something- mom!”</p>
<p>The next few moments were a blur, he would never be able to remember what happened in the car ride from his home to the hospital. He sat beside his mother while doctors and nurses and visitors and patients all walked pass them. </p>
<p>“She’ll be okay,” whispered his mom, holding his hand tightly. “I’m sure of it sweetheart.”</p>
<p>Jared nodded, wondering when the rest of the Pack was going to show up or at least wonder where he was. Kim was supposed to go over to Emily’s and Jared had a second patrol in an hour.</p>
<p>He couldn’t leave her here, alone at the hospital.</p>
<p>“Jared,” said his mother softly, pulling out a roll of fabric from her purse. “Here’s a shirt, put it on.”</p>
<p>He felt like a robot, doing as his mother told him, pulling on the dark t-shirt and trying to keep himself calm. It was harder than he thought, with every pass of a nurse or a doctor, he felt his shoulders constrict tighter and tighter, he was a ticking time bomb.</p>
<p>“Excuse me,” said a soft voice, Jared looked up and the orderly took a step back, “are you the pair that came in with Kimberly Connweller?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Jared, jumping up out of his seat. “Is she okay?”</p>
<p>“She’s scheduled for several blood transfusions and Dr. Cullen is speaking to her right now,” said the orderly, Jared glared down at him. He didn’t trust the blonde vampire doctor, even if the others in the Pack did. </p>
<p>“Which room is she in?” asked Jared, as he felt his mother put a hand on his arm.</p>
<p>“I can take you there,” he said, turning and leading them through a pair of double doors and down a hallway. Jared quickly walked in through the door and found Kim laying on the bed, the smell of rust hit him, along with the sickly sweet smell of the vampire doctor.</p>
<p>“Kim?” whispered Jared, moving forward to her, he grabbed her face in both of his hands and kissed her forehead.</p>
<p>“Jared,” she said, and he could hear the sadness in her throat, she sounded raw with fear. “I’m…I am so…so sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” he whispered, leaning down and kissing her forehead again.</p>
<p>“Are you Kimberly’s mother?”</p>
<p>Jared turned around to see his mother standing just inside the doorway, watching him and Kim. “No, she’s my daughter-in-law.”</p>
<p>Their relationship had moved so quickly, so suddenly, and his mother understood all of it. She understood that Kim was his everything, that she would always be everything to him.</p>
<p>“Kimberly has suffered from a miscarriage, her body has rejected the fetus and she started hemorrhaging, she’s scheduled for two more blood transfusions,” explained Dr. Cullen, as Jared turned back to Kim. She pulled one of the hands off of her face and held on tightly. “She’ll have a physical exam before she’s released.”</p>
<p>“When will that be?” asked Jared, turning back to the doctor.</p>
<p>“If all goes well, tomorrow morning,” said Dr. Cullen and Jared nodded, before he turned back to Kim.</p>
<p>Jared brushed Kim’s hair out of her eyes and leaned forward to kiss her forehead again. He wanted to climb into the tiny hospital bed with her, hold her in his arms, kiss her until whatever had been hurting her was gone.</p>
<p>“Jared,” said his mother, sitting down in the seat on the other side of Kim’s bed. “Give her room to breathe.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” said Kim, turning her head away from Jared and to look at his mother. “I feel better having him here.”</p>
<p>“Yes, about that,” said Jared’s mother, reaching out to touch Kim’s arm. Kim pulled back the same time that his mother pulled back, but Jared knew that she just found out her secret. “Oh Kim sweetheart.”</p>
<p>Kim curled up into herself, tears coming to her eyes as Jared brushed them away. He wanted to pull her into his lap, comfort her.</p>
<p>“How long?”</p>
<p>“Since I was twelve, but I’ve stopped, I don’t do it anymore,” said Kim, as Jared squeezed her hand. “I don’t want to do it anymore.”</p>
<p>“Come live with us.”</p>
<p>This was not what Jared expected to hear, expected to ever hear his mother say.</p>
<p>“Mom,” said Jared softly, looking away from Kim to meet his mother’s eyes. “What about dad? Shouldn’t you include him in?”</p>
<p>“You’re father and I are getting a divorce Jared,” said his mother and Jared felt his heart drop into his stomach. “So no, I won’t be asking him about Kim, or anything anymore.”</p>
<p>Jared sat back in the chair by Kim’s bed, their fingers still intertwined together. He looked from Kim to his mom, then back to Kim, her dark hair was covering most of her face, but he could still see the concern in her eyes.</p>
<p>“Okay,” said Jared, looking back up at his mother, “okay.”</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is change.</p>
<p>Moving forward and backwards, up and down, watching the world turn around you, feeling the world turn around you. It’s being part of something bigger, it’s being active in the world around you. </p>
<p>It’s making new friends, reconnecting with the old ones, it’s moving into a new place, letting others help you. It’s moving in with your boyfriend and his mom, bringing along your little brother. It’s watching relationships form and bonds being made.</p>
<p>It’s Jared and Kim.</p>
<p>And to change, is to love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim handed Jared the last of her boxes and took one last look at her bedroom. She didn’t know how to feel or what to feel, she was seventeen, about to be a senior in high school and moving in with Jared and his mom. Karson was coming with them, her one stipulation to leaving her own house was that Karson got to come along also.</p>
<p>“I’ll meet you at Emily’s when you get off patrol,” said Kim as she leaned out the window to kiss him. “I’m going to go check in with Billy.”</p>
<p>“I’ll get this stuff home and see you later,” said Jared, leaning in to kiss her again. “Have fun at Billy’s.”</p>
<p>“He’s not that bad,” Kim told him, as he started walking away. Kim took one last look at her bedroom, her old bedroom, before climbing out the window and walking away from her parents.</p>
<p>She had started going to Billy’s house after Jacob disappeared. He had been gone for the last few weeks, Emily and Sue had been coming around for a while, but when school ended for the summer, Kim had started spending a few hours with Billy. She usually went to make him lunch, while Emily went for breakfast and Sue made dinner for both Billy and Charlie Swan.</p>
<p>Billy lived closer to Jared than Kim’s old house, but the walk along the beach always calmed her. She put her headphones on and watched the waves come in and out as she walked.</p>
<p>Kim walked into Billy’s house, taking her headphones off as she walked. She stopped at the sight of the kitchen, sitting at the table was a girl that she never met, but recognized. She had to be Rachel, Kim was sure of it, she was one of Billy’s twin daughters, and Rachel was the one with the long hair.</p>
<p>“Do you normally just walk in to people’s back doors?” she asked, and Kim stared at her. She had her hair messily tied back and was wearing an oversized t-shirt that had to be Jacob’s. In front of her on the table was an open laptop and several large tomb-like books.</p>
<p>“Um, hi,” said Kim, moving farther into the kitchen. “I’m Kim Connweller, I’ve been helping out Billy while Jacob’s been gone.”</p>
<p>“Oh…well,” she said, sitting up in her chair, Kim was suddenly aware that she was taller than her. “I’m Rachel, it’s nice to meet you.”</p>
<p>“The same,” said Kim, walking around the table to the fridge. She started rifling through for something to make sandwiches with. </p>
<p>“Hello Kim,” said Billy, rolling into the kitchen. “Officially moved in at the Cameron’s yet?”</p>
<p>“Unpacking when I get home from Emily’s tonight,” Kim told him, as she started buttering bread, she still wasn’t the best cook, but under Emily’s careful guidance, she was better than when she started. “I think Carla is more excited than Jared or me.”</p>
<p>Rachel closed her laptop with a snap and stood up, leaving the room. Kim watched her leave, quickly realizing what she was upset about.</p>
<p>“She’s friends with Leah, isn’t she?” asked Kim, as she heard a noise in the living room. “Does she know anything about…?”</p>
<p>“Rachel and Rebecca and Leah all grew up together, they were very close before the twins left,” explained Billy, and Kim nodded. She still didn’t know Leah all that well, though Seth was a complete sweetheart, always nice and always helpful. He had even helped her with moving her and Karson’s things out of her parent’s house.</p>
<p>“Well she’s welcomed to come with me to Emily’s,” Kim told him, as she grabbed a frying pan out of one of the lower cabinets and started making Billy lunch. </p>
<p>“I’ll let her know,” said Billy, rolling out of the room. Kim finished Billy’s lunch, made a sandwich for Rachel, then headed out of the house and over to Emily’s, alone.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is heavy.</p>
<p>Love weighs you down more than anything else does, it weighs you down more than a good meal, and it weighs you down more than gravity. </p>
<p>Somedays, love is lighter than the air that you breathe. Somedays, love is lighter than the sunlight hidden behind the clouds. Somedays, love is lighter than a piece of paper, with more meaning put into the words than what is written.</p>
<p>Love is what holds us down to the Earth. It keeps us steady and whole and together.</p>
<p>The weight of the world is heavy, but love is even heavier.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared sat down beside Kim. She was laying in front of the waves, her eyes closed, her mouth opened as the rain came down. Paul once told him that she had wanted to drown.</p>
<p>He reached out a hand and lightly brushed her hair out of her face. Her hair was so much longer than when they first met, but it still seemed to always get in her face. She opened her eyes as he played with her hair.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he whispered, as she closed her mouth. She was soaked from the rain, and even though it was warmer today than it had been the last few, she would be shivering within minutes.</p>
<p>“Kevin called me,” she choked out, not even looking at him. He stilled his fingers, still tangled in her hair. “My father killed our mother.”</p>
<p>The words hung in the air between them, suddenly the ocean sounded louder around them. Louder and more harsh and scary as the waves touched her toes.</p>
<p>He didn’t know what to say, death made him uncomfortable, Kim’s home life also made him uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“Swan called him, told him that our mother died of an overdose,” said Kim, closing her eyes again. “Mom hadn’t touched anything like that in years, he stopped buying it for her when she was pregnant with Kevin.”</p>
<p>“So what happens next?”</p>
<p>“Karson and I will get contacted by CPS within the next few hours,” said Kim, suddenly looking up at his hairline, her eyes were starting to turn red. “They’ll want to put us in a home or with the twins and Kevin. They won’t want us to stay with you and your mom, they’ll ignore the fact that I’ll be eighteen next year and that we’re happy. It’ll be the same as the last time we got taken away.”</p>
<p>“Last time?” whispered Jared, pulling his hand away, out of her hair.</p>
<p>“Before we moved out here, and before we moved the time before,” explained Kim, tears now rolling down the side of her face. “The first time I cut myself was in a group home. They thought I cut myself on a bedspring.”</p>
<p>“Kim,” whispered Jared, as she held her hand out for him. “Kim, you don’t hav-“</p>
<p>“I don’t want to be taken away,” she whispered, her face breaking as she started sobbing. Jared reached out for her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him. He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back.</p>
<p>“I won’t let them take you,” he told her as she put her face into his neck. “I won’t let them take you away from me.”</p>
<p>Kim sniffled into his neck, and he rubbed her back, his hand moving under her sweater and rubbing along her spine. He kissed her forehead and hair and held her tightly in his arms.</p>
<p>Jared didn’t know how long the time stood still, how long the Earth stood still. Kim weighed next to nothing in his arms, she was as light as air, as light as the sunshine trying to break through the clouds.</p>
<p>“It’s a rainbow,” whispered Kim, as she turned to look at the sky. “Rainbows are supposed to be hopeful.”</p>
<p>“Kim!”</p>
<p>The pair of them looked up at the sound of her name, Emily was walking towards them on the beach. Jared sat up with Kim in his lap, cradling her in the circle of his arms.</p>
<p>“Kim, Jared,” said Emily, her long hair was blowing in her face, just like how Kim’s always did. “There’s a CPS officer at my home, Sam is distracting him if you need to get out of here for a while.”</p>
<p>“Emily,” said Kim as Emily stood in front of them, “I have nowhere to go.”</p>
<p>“Rachel,” said Emily, as Kim pulled herself out of Jared’s arms. “She can help, she has her law degree.”</p>
<p>“Did they have Karson?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is defiance.</p>
<p>Its fighting for what you love, what you believe in, what you need. It’s the fight for her, the fight for him, the fight to be together, together against the odds. Always against the odds, always fighting together.</p>
<p>Sometimes love is fighting in itself. Sometimes to love is to fight. Sometimes fighting is love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim walked into Billy’s kitchen, even though Jacob was back, she had gotten used to coming around for lunch every day. Rachel didn’t bother her, she sat at the table and drank her tea and typed on her laptop or read her books. Billy always came in and made conversation, it wasn’t much, but she liked it.</p>
<p>The air was different though, Jacob, Billy, and Rachel all sat around the table, the tension making the air feel electric. Kim looked at Paul who had his hands on the back of Rachel’s chair, he was shaking slightly, as if he was going to phase any second.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” asked Kim, glancing from Paul to Billy. She still didn’t care too much for Jacob, and Rachel was never nice to her.</p>
<p>“Paul imprinted on Rachel,” said Jacob, through clenched teeth.</p>
<p>Kim looked at Paul, who couldn’t meet her eyes. She knew that she owed Rachel, she had just gotten her and Karson out of the clutches of CPS, but Paul was her best friend.</p>
<p>“And?” asked Kim, hoping that this one word would break the tension. She was sure that Jacob was going rip her head off, but he would hate to deal with Jared if he did.</p>
<p>“That’s it?” asked Jacob, getting to his feet. “That’s all you have to say?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you want me to say,” said Kim, walking over to the fridge where she knew Emily had left her some veggies to cook. “I’m happy with Jared, Jacob. Just because you hate Emily and Claire and me, doesn’t mean anything to the rest of us, you should be happy for Paul, and Rachel.”</p>
<p>She heard Jacob stammer to himself while she smiled at Paul. “That’s not the point!”</p>
<p>“Then what is it Jacob?” asked Kim, turning to glare at him, “you should be happy for Paul, he’s your Pack brother. And Rachel is more than welcomed with all of us, I’m sure that Emily would like to hang out with someone other than me.”</p>
<p>“Kim,” said Paul, but Kim didn’t take her eyes off of Jacob, it was no secret to Emily or Kim that Jacob hated that they were imprints. She knew that Jacob didn’t like her because Jared would think of her often while of patrols. “Don’t do this.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to let Jacob treat me like dirt because he’s angry at you Paul,” said Kim, finally taking her eyes off of Jacob. “I want you to be happy, because Rachel is what will make you happy.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>Kim felt the tension break as she looked at Rachel, the emotion in her voice was what caused everything to break down. Without thinking, Kim sat down in the open chair beside her. She took Rachel’s hand and held on tightly, this wasn’t fair to her.</p>
<p>“Why me?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” said Kim, as she felt Rachel’s eyes on her arm, “sometimes life works that way.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to be friends with Emily,” said Rachel, as she pulled her hand back and looked up at Paul. “Leah-“</p>
<p>“You don’t have to be friends with any of us,” Kim told her, getting out of her chair, “but it’s hard to not like Emily, I tried to not be her friend in the beginning too.”</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is a celebration.</p>
<p>It’s a hundred beginnings and endings, stories and poems and even more stories. It’s ups and downs, it’s birthdays and graduations and parties and celebrations of all kind. It’s love, it’s bringing others together, it’s love, love, love.</p>
<p>It’s graduating high school and college, it’s getting the job, it’s making the world what you want.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>“Marry me?”</p>
<p>Jared stared at Kim, they had just graduated high school a few hours ago, he had plans to ask Kim to marry him, but they were supposed to be in a few years, not now. He was supposed to ask, supposed to be the one to get down on one knee and ask her to marry him.</p>
<p>She wasn’t supposed to ask him.</p>
<p>“Jared?”</p>
<p>“I was going to ask you,” he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “In a few years, but if you want to get married now-“</p>
<p>“Jared,” said Kim softly, giving him her most loving smile. “We just graduated, I don’t want to spend another day not as your wife.”</p>
<p>“Are you being serious?” asked Jared, reaching out to take her hands into his own. Emily and Sam were throwing all of the graduates a party, which included Kim, Paul, Jacob, Embry, Quil, and himself. Both of the Packs were going to be there, it had been too long since everyone was together.</p>
<p>“No,” said Kim, leaning forward to kiss him. “But if you did ask me, I would say yes.”</p>
<p>“Because you want too?” asked Jared, holding her face in both of his hands. “Or because you feel like you need to?”</p>
<p>“Because I love you, Jared,” said Kim, wrapping her arms around his neck. She shuffled forward and into his lap, kissing him softly. “I love you more than you can ever imagine.”</p>
<p>Jared moved forward on his bed and laid Kim down as he straddled her hips and kissed her again. His hands moved under her shirt, pushing it over her head and kissing whatever skin he could.</p>
<p>“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he whispered as she clawed at his back, pulling his shirt off over his head. </p>
<p>“Jared! Kim!” called Jared’s mother, and Kim started laughing as untangled her fingers from around his neck. “You’re going to be late!”</p>
<p>Jared groaned and Kim started laughing as he buried his face into her neck. “Jared, we have to go,” she giggled, as she pushed on his shoulders.</p>
<p>Jared climbed off of her, sure that he would get the chance to pick up where they left off later. He pulled his shirt back on, while Kim climbed off the bed and put her own shirt back on.</p>
<p>“So what does it feel like?” asked Kim, as she looped her arm through his as they walked down the stairs together. “Being a high school graduate and all?”</p>
<p>“Well it was pretty great turning around and watching you get your diploma right after me,” Jared told her, as he followed after his mother out the door. They started walking down the road, as Emily and Sam’s house wasn’t too far from them. They lived almost right in between Sam and Emily’s house and the Black’s house.</p>
<p>Jared smiled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, as they walked around to the backyard of Sam and Emily’s house. They were the last to arrive, even Quil with Claire in toe, had arrived before them.</p>
<p>“Hey,” said Emily, giving Kim a big hug and kissing Jared’s cheek, “congratulations guys. Finally graduated!”</p>
<p>“I feel like it’s taken forever,” said Kim, as she pulled Emily in close for another hug.</p>
<p>“I felt the same way,” said Emily, and Kim smiled at Jared before letting Emily pull her over to Rachel and Paul.</p>
<p>“About time the two of you showed up,” said Sam, as he pushed a can of beer into Jared’s hand. They couldn’t really get drunk, their metabolism was three times faster than a normal person’s, but this was definitely more symbolic than anything.</p>
<p>He was an official high school graduate now.</p>
<p>“Any plans now?” asked Sam, and Jared smiled, he and Paul had been talking about starting up a landscaping business, they knew that Sam would be interested.</p>
<p>“Kim asked me to marry her,” Jared told him, it probably made sense, they were the second imprint pair. Emily and Sam had finally tied the knot back in March, it made sense for Kim to want to get married, they had been together for almost two years now.</p>
<p>“Did you say yes?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t really answer her, but we decided to wait,” Jared told him, then to have something to do with his hands, he took a large drink from his beer.</p>
<p>“Really?” said Sam, meeting Jared’s eyes, “because Billy is here, he can marry you if you want.”</p>
<p>Jared looked over to where Kim was sitting with Emily, the pair of them with their heads close together, talking and giggling. Jared felt his heart swell with emotion, he would love to be married to Kim, to have her always be his.</p>
<p>“You don’t think this will upstage the party?” asked Jared, as he looked out over the backyard. “I don’t want anyone to feel like were taking all the attention.”</p>
<p>“Who cares,” said Sam, with a wave of his hand. “If the two of you want to do this, no one will get upset.”</p>
<p>Jared nodded, and handed Sam his empty can before walking over to Kim and Emily. He took Kim’s hand and pulled her around to the side of the house, away from eavesdropping. </p>
<p>“Do you really want to get married?” Jared asked her, holding her hands in his own. Kim looked up at him, with her beautiful sweet eyes. </p>
<p>“Are you asking?”</p>
<p>“Billy can marry us right now, I want you to be my wife Kim,” he told her, reaching forward and brushing his fingers along her jaw and cheek. “I love you, and I’m ready to be married, as long as it’s to you.”</p>
<p>Kim nodded, and smiled, taking a step forward and wrapping her arms around his neck.</p>
<p>“Let’s do it.”</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is commitment.</p>
<p>Enough said, it’s already well known.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim stood in front of Emily’s full length mirror, she was wearing one of Emily’s sundresses, this one was all white, with little yellow and green flowers climbing up the skirt. It was her something new. Rachel had braided back her hair, adding in ribbons and flowers and feathers, all with a hint of blue, her something blue. Leah had come in and put a necklace around her neck, before leaving again, her something borrowed. And then Jared’s mother, Mrs. Cameron handed her a pair of rings, off of her own hand, her something old.</p>
<p>She was getting married, she was getting married to Jared, who loved her and wanted her and who was the one person who would always want her.</p>
<p>“Let’s go,” whispered Emily, tugging lightly on Kim’s wrist. “Jared’s waiting for you.”</p>
<p>It was the same thing that Kim had told her back in March, right before she led the way for Emily. Right before Emily promised herself to Sam and Sam promised himself to Emily. </p>
<p>Kim slipped out of her shoes, and took Emily’s hand. This was not what she ever expected, she was eighteen, had just graduated from high school, and was now getting married, to Jared Cameron, the love of her life.</p>
<p>Her protector.</p>
<p>Kim held her breath as Emily squeezed her hand and walked out her backdoor. She counted to five, just like she had once been instructed, then she took the first step.</p>
<p>She had no bouquet to hold, no flowers other than the one’s woven into her hair. It didn’t matter though, for the first time in her life, Kim was okay with being the center of attention. Everything was bared to the world, to her friends, her family. Her scars crissed-crossed up her arms and legs, her tattoos shined bright against her skin, and she still wore all of her piercings from graduation.</p>
<p>It was taking her all that she could to not run forward to Jared, to let herself be taken into his arms and held and kissed. </p>
<p>She reached out her hand for him, the moment she was within arms-reach and felt her heart sing.</p>
<p>Jared was so many things to her, home would always be on the list, in her heart.</p>
<p>She could barely hear Billy, and she couldn’t see any of the crowd around them. It was just her, and just Jared, nothing else in the world mattered.</p>
<p>“Jared,” said Kim softly, reaching up to brush her fingers along his chin and cheek and jaw. “I love you, have since the first time I ever saw you. I’ve wanted this day to come for so long, longer than you could ever know, ever imagine. I used to write your name in my notebooks and watch you in class and fall even more in love with you.”</p>
<p>She pulled her hand back to wipe at her eyes, but he grabbed her fingers and wiped away her tears with his free hand.</p>
<p>“I love you so much, and I can’t wait to see where our life goes from here, you, me, and the life we create together,” she told him, wanting nothing more than to kiss him, bring his face down to hers and kiss him until they were both speechless.</p>
<p>She smiled up at him, and felt his thumb brush away another stray tear.</p>
<p>“Kim,” whispered Jared, and she felt her heart flutter again. “I love you so much, you are my sun, and moon, and stars, my guiding light home. You are the air in my lungs and the blood that keep my heart pumping, from the moment that I dragged you out of history class, I knew that you were everything to me.”</p>
<p>It was Kim’s turn to wipe away his tears, to hold his hand and his beautiful face. She would never feel complete without him.</p>
<p>“You’re the love of my life, and I promise that I’ll never hurt you, never want anyone else, you are my heart and soul,” said Jared, intertwining their fingers together. “I can’t wait for our life to move forward from here, we’re leaving high school behind, and now we’ll be moving on in our life together, as one and not two.”</p>
<p>Kim pulled his face down to hers, just barely aware that Billy was telling Jared that he could now kiss his bride.</p>
<p>His bride, she was his bride, no, his wife. </p>
<p>She was officially married to Jared.</p>
<p>Jared.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is more.</p>
<p>More work, more fights, more happiness, more of each other. Two becoming one. Love is love is love. More love to hold and to want and to have.</p>
<p>More love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared opened his eyes, lying next to him, was his wife, his Kim. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her to his chest, he put his face into her hair and breathed in vanilla, Kim.</p>
<p>“It’s too early,” she mumbled, rolling over in his arms. She opened her eyes just enough for him to see the whites of her eyes before closing them again. “Go to sleep.”</p>
<p>Jared chuckled and kissed her forehead, he couldn’t believe that he was married, married to Kim.</p>
<p>“Kim,” whispered Jared, as she curled her fingers into his t-shirt. “I’m so happy to be married to you.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” mumbled Kim, opening her eyes again, “but I’m so tired. Go back to sleep.”</p>
<p>Jared rubbed her back and heard her sigh into his chest. He smiled and kissed her forehead again, holding her against his chest. He loved her so much, and he knew that they were going to be happy together.</p>
<p>Once they moved out of his mom’s house.</p>
<p>“Jared! Kim!”</p>
<p>They both groaned and within a few minutes, were out of bed and walking downstairs. Jared sat down in one of the chairs around the table and pulled Kim into his lap. He felt his mother’s eyes on him, but she had blessed their marriage, his mom loved Kim more than him.</p>
<p>“Oh my happy newlyweds,” said Carla, putting a large plate in front of them. “How was your first night as a married couple?”</p>
<p>“Mom,” said Jared as Kim hid her face into his neck, he was suddenly incredibly grateful that Karson had moved out a few months ago to live with Kevin. “Please don’t.”</p>
<p>“Don’t start that,” she said, waving her hand at him. “I have something I want to give the both of you.”</p>
<p>Kim peeked out from his neck and turned to look her. Jared held Kim tighter to himself as his mother slid an envelope across the table to them. She picked up the envelope and opened it, pulling out a small piece of paper.</p>
<p>“This is a wedding and graduation present,” said Carla, as Kim handed him the check with shaky hands.</p>
<p>“Mom,” said Jared, as he looked at the number written on the check. “This is crazy.”</p>
<p>“Well I know that you don’t plan to go to college,” said his mother, sitting down across from them. “And you’ll want to move out soon, this is the college fund your father and I set up, along with all the foster money I got from the state and the child support your father owed me. I thought that the two of you could put a down payment on a house, or even go on a trip for your honeymoon. It’s all up to you, but I thought it would be nice to have an option.”</p>
<p>Jared smiled up at his mom, as Kim climbed out of his lap and ran around the table to almost knock his mother out of her chair.</p>
<p>“Thank you so much!” yelled Kim as she hugged Jared’s mother. “You have no idea what this means to us.”</p>
<p>To her, it was unspoken, but Jared picked up the context.</p>
<p>“Kim, let mom breathe,” said Jared, walking around the table to peel Kim off of his mother. “She knows how wonderful this is.”</p>
<p>“Jared!” said Kim, batting his hands away, “let us have this.”</p>
<p>Jared took a step back, he knew how much his mom meant to Kim, everything that she had done for her, taking her in and accepting her. She had even helped Kim forgive her father for everything he had done to her and her brothers.</p>
<p>She had taken Kim in as a daughter.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is sad.</p>
<p>Harrowing and gnawing and depressingly sad. It’s the kind of sad that makes her want to curl into a ball in her bed and not come out. It’s the kind of sad that keeps her from feeling warm, keeps her from wanting to live.</p>
<p>It’s the kind of sad that makes her want to have love. Makes her want to have him, over and over and over again. It’s the kind of sad that makes her hurt.</p>
<p>She’s always a little sad, a little wanting, a little in love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim rubbed at her eyes and dug down into her bathroom trashcan. She pulled out the positive pregnancy test, then looked down at the bloody toilet bowl. She felt like she was going to be sick.</p>
<p>Her mother had given birth to five children, four boys and her, with her oldest two brothers being twins. </p>
<p>She wanted just a little of that, because her mother managed to have five children, while living in poverty, while being high while pregnant with three of them, while being hurt by her husband. Kim just wanted a baby, just one baby.</p>
<p>“Kim? Are you still home?” called Jared, and Kim stood up, flushing the toilet and washing her hands and face before coming out of the bathroom.</p>
<p>“There you are,” said Jared with a large grin as he pulled Kim into a tight hug. “I’m happy I caught you before you went in.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going in tonight,” Kim told him, as she pulled away. “I’m not feeling very well.”</p>
<p>“Still?” asked Jared, and Kim nodded. “Why don’t you take a nap, I’ll make us something to eat.”</p>
<p>She curled up on the couch while Jared banged around in the kitchen, trying to be quiet, but being louder than normal. Kim usually thought it was funny whenever he did this. It was as if the pressure to be quiet got to him.</p>
<p>Kim picked up the envelope on the coffee table and flipped through the pictures inside again. They were photos from the joint birthday party they had for the oldest Pack children. She was the only imprint without a child now, even Leah had three kids with Jacob. Rose, Emily, Hailey, Cali, even Rachel, who hated being stuck in La Push, now had twins.</p>
<p>Kim just wanted to be able to give Jared what all of the other imprints had given their wolves.</p>
<p>“We’ll have a baby eventually,” said Jared, as he handed her a bowl of macaroni and cheese. It was one of the very few things that he could cook without instruction, though they were working on it. “Don’t stress about it.”</p>
<p>“Jared,” said Kim softly, setting the pictures and her macaroni and cheese on the coffee table before turning to him. “I miscarried again, I took a test earlier this week and now the baby’s gone.”</p>
<p>Jared frowned, and Kim wanted to take away that look, he didn’t deserve to be upset, to be sad like how she was.</p>
<p>“Kim,” whispered Jared, putting his bowl down on the coffee table and pulling her into his arms. “I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>Kim tucked her face into his neck and started crying, unable to hold in the emotions anymore. She wanted a baby, she wanted someone to hold and care for and have. She wanted someone to love her unconditionally, just like how she once loved her parents before everything fell apart in their life.</p>
<p>“We should talk to someone, see if it’s something wrong with me or-“</p>
<p>“It’s me Jared,” said Kim, looking up at him, he wiped away her tears and held her face. “My mother smoked and drank almost the whole time she was pregnant with me. It’s what she did with all of us.”</p>
<p>“Kim,” said Jared, as Kim put her head back into his neck. “I want a baby too.”</p>
<p>He pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back and held her. He knew exactly how to care for her, exactly what to do, exactly what she needed. She loved him for it, she loved him for years and years, she loved him unconditionally.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is surprises.</p>
<p>Shock and happiness and unexpected.</p>
<p>All in the name of love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared sat down beside Kim on the examination table, they were waiting to hear the results of the latest test they had run on her. They just wanted a baby, nothing more and nothing less. They didn’t care if it was a boy or a girl, if they had one or two or three or even more, they just wanted a child of their own.</p>
<p>Jared wanted a little girl with Kim’s long hair and brown eyes and sweet smile. He knew that Kim wanted a boy, a boy who looked like him, with the same dark hair and black eyes and big ears.</p>
<p>But either way, they didn’t care, they just wanted a baby that Kim would carry to term.</p>
<p>One that could endure them, the pair of them.</p>
<p>“Emily asked me to make the coconut cake for Hannah’s birthday,” said Kim, as Jared played with the hole in her jeans, he didn’t know when she went from jeans that had holes in them to buying jeans that had holes in them. He didn’t know when they got to that point of financial bliss.</p>
<p>“It’s a great cake,” said Jared and he could almost hear her rolling her eyes.</p>
<p>“Jared if we worry-” whispered Kim, lacing her fingers through his.</p>
<p>“I know,” said Jared, looking up at her, “but I don’t want to pretend that we’re not worried.”</p>
<p>“This is for us to have a baby,” whispered Kim, putting her head on his shoulder. “I know it’s not what we expected… but we want this. I already started making an Amazon wish list for baby things while I was at work yesterday.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t know that,” whispered Jared, as the door opened and their doctor walked in. </p>
<p>“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, it’s good to see you again,” said Dr. Azalla, as she walked into the room and held her arm out to shake their hands. “I hope the day has been treating you well.”</p>
<p>Jared felt Kim’s hand grow colder in his own, as Dr. Azalla smiled at them. He felt nervous, not for the first time since walking into the exam room. He wanted what Kim wanted, just as she always wanted what he wanted.</p>
<p>“Dr. Azalla,” said Kim, and the doctor frowned, the nervousness in her voice suddenly came clear.</p>
<p>“The tests went very well,” said Dr. Azalla, her smile returning, “so well that we didn’t move forward with Jared’s results, because you’re pregnant.”</p>
<p>“That’s the easy part,” said Jared, as Kim’s hand tightened in his. “It’s just keeping the baby, that’s the hard part.”</p>
<p>“I know that you don’t want to hear this again,” said Dr. Azalla, her smile falling again. “But if the fetus isn’t compatible then Kim’s body will abort it. It’s a protection for the fetus and Kim’s body, it’s a protection for your heart.”</p>
<p>Jared nodded as he put his free hand on Kim’s stomach, he was happy that they were pregnant. Happy that they had the possibility to bring a life into the world.</p>
<p>But they knew that they were pregnant, he had sat in the bathtub with Kim in his arms as they watched the pink plus sign appear on the pregnancy test. He had been excited even as Kim started crying.</p>
<p>“We’ve already been taking steps in the right direction,” said Dr. Azalla, sitting down at the stool beside the computer on a small counter. “Kim you’ve been keeping up with the regimen I’ve given you, correct? For exercise and diet?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Kim putting her hand over Jared’s on her stomach. “I’ve been walking every day on the beach and taking my vitamins.”</p>
<p>“Good,” said Dr. Azalla, as she started typing on her computer. “In the meantime, we’ll keep up the appointments every two weeks. Kim you’ll need to be prepared to have your blood drawn for every visit, I’ll have the ladies up front give you some lists of foods I would like for you to avoid, more than the usual I ask for, but I think they’ll help us keep the baby.”</p>
<p>Jared nodded as Kim pulled away from him, she hated the diet she had been put on, they both did. But they wanted a baby.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is Jared.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Kim smiled as Jared sat down beside her and handed her a plate of food. She was so hungry, the babies were hungry.</p>
<p>Twins, they were having twins, one boy and one girl. It was everything that she wanted, everything that she could want. One boy and one girl, a perfect pair, a matching set. </p>
<p>“Have you decided on names yet?” asked Rachel, as she sat down on Kim’s other side, her daughter, Jessica in her lap. Kim felt one of the babies kick against her stomach, and then felt Jessica’s little hand reach out and touch where the baby kicked.</p>
<p>“Bay-bee,” said Jessica, smiling up at her, and Kim smiled back.</p>
<p>“Kaitlyn for a girl and Jonathan for a boy,” said Jared answering Rachel’s question, they would be the third couple in the pack to have twins. Rachel and Paul had the first set, Jessica and James, and Leah and Jacob had the second, Mackenzie and Marcus.</p>
<p>They would have the third. </p>
<p>“I know that Jacob and Leah will probably try to pawn off all of their old baby clothes, but please take some of mine too,” said Rachel, with a smile as Jessica sat back in her lap. Rachel ran her fingers through her daughter’s hair.</p>
<p>“The only one’s not pawning their clothes off on us is Brady and Rose, mostly as they only have boy clothes and have no plans on stopping,” Kim told her, as they glanced over at Rose and Brady with their two sons. Rose had her head tucked under Brady’s chin while she nursed her youngest son. All of the Pack get-togethers now seemed to just be excuses for everyone to pass their children off onto each other. </p>
<p>Kim didn’t mind, as in less than four months, she would have two to pass off onto the others.</p>
<p>“The two of you must be excited,” said Jacob as he sat down in front of them on the floor, they might’ve been at the Black’s house, but that didn’t mean he had a place to sit. He had his only daughter, Mackenzie, strapped to his chest. “Or going insane?”</p>
<p>“Both,” said Jared and Kim rolled her eyes, it was easy to play off their excitement as nervousness, but they were pretty prepared. As prepared as two twenty-two year olds could be to have twins.</p>
<p>Jared leaned over and kissed Kim’s cheek, before rubbing her stomach and trying to take her sandwich. Kim shooed his grabby hands away, and smiled as she finished her food.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Love is two.</p>
<p>Johnny and Kati, the twins, their children. It was two verse two, two boys, two girls, Johnny and Kati verse Kim and Jared.</p>
<p>Two is love.</p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p>Jared held his daughter in his arms, she was so fragile, so warm and sweet, already smiling. She was his baby, his little girl. He had been waiting so long for this moment, for this baby, for both of his babies.</p>
<p>Kati stared up at him with dark eyes and Jared smiled down at her. Johnny slept on Kim’s chest, his moving twice as fast as Kim’s, but both were asleep, both calm. Kim was amazing, she was perfect, she had been so strong and so patient.</p>
<p>She had given birth to their children, had screamed murder at him, but given him the most precious thing in his life. She had given him two beautiful and healthy children. </p>
<p>Johnny and Kati were what held him down to Earth, just as Kim did.</p>
<p>“Jared sleep,” whispered Kim, groggy and tired from the bed. He could just barely see the whites of her eyes, as she cradled Johnny against her chest.</p>
<p>“Kim,” whispered Jared, leaning over the bed to kiss her forehead. “They’re finally here.”</p>
<p>Kim smiled and blinked slowly, before she dozed off again. Jared smiled as he sat down in the chair beside her bed, he brushed her hair out of her face then looked down at Kati, who was asleep now.</p>
<p>“It's not my destiny to be the one that you will lay with, so many reasons why I have to go but want to stay here,” whispered Jared as he held Kati, her little face relaxing as she fell into a deeper sleep. “Sometimes I want a taste, but then I don't know what I'm saying.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t the most appropriate song to be singing to his daughter, to either of his children, even his wife. But it was Kim’s favorite song, from her favorite album.</p>
<p>“You are the angel, and I am the one that is praying.” He smiled as Kati started snoring softly. “There is another love, that I would rather be obeying, I see the ecstasy, and already I'm anticipating.”</p>
<p>Jared put Kati down in her bassinet and turned to Johnny who was starting to fuss against Kim’s chest. “I feel a deeper peace, and that deeper peace is penetrating, I got the magic in me, I am complete is what I'm saying.”</p>
<p>Johnny calmed down the second Jared pulled him into his arms, quieting down as Jared sang the last verse for him. “I'm flying up so high, my purple majesty displaying, I've reached a higher place, that no one else can make a claim in.”</p>
<p>He put Johnny down beside Kati and climbed in beside Kim who moved over just enough to give him some room. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her cheek, their family was finally complete, the four of them were complete.</p>
<p>“I love you,” he whispered into her hair and he felt himself start to drift off.</p>
<p>“I love you too,” whispered Kim, turning her head and kissing him softly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. It’s a lie."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kati opened her eyes, the sunlight was streaming in through the window right into her eyes and it only managed to make her feel more exhausted. She groaned as the arm around her waist moved, tightening around her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck,” mumbled Jay as he opened his eyes. “What time is it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“After,” said Kati, her eyes searching for the alarm clock on her bedside table. “It’s after two-thirty.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck,” said Jay before she felt his face press into her shoulder blades. “I need to get home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati rolled her eyes, as Jay climbed over her and fell onto the floor. He looked up at her, before getting to his feet and leaning down to kiss her softly. This was their usual greeting, their usual goodbye, they had been kissing each other since they met.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you have to?” asked Kati, lazily looping her arm around his neck. He smiled and Kati wished that they shared the magic that kept Johnny and Nat, their twin siblings, together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati had Johnny, her twin brother, half of her parents struggle. While Jay had Nat, his twin sister, half of his mother’s attempt to keep them together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” said Jay, smiling and climbing back into bed with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kissing Jason Young was easy, so easy and comfortable and familiar. His kisses were always soft, always warm and comforting and sweet. He kissed her mouth and jaw and chin and neck as he worked his hands under her shirt and pulled it off of her. He kissed her as he removed her clothes and his own and they let themselves fall into each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Having sex with Jason Young was just as easy, it was something that they did when they were bored, when they didn’t want the other to leave, when kissing wasn’t enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kati,” whispered Jay, as he held her hips, she straddled his waist and smiled down at him. “Kati, please?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She leaned down as kissed him, running her fingers through his hair, and letting her mouth crush against his. There was no power dynamic between them, they both knew what they wanted, what was going to come from this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had been having sex together for the last three years, since they were fifteen. She was only a few weeks older than him, she had waited a few weeks before sleeping with him on his birthday.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My dad is going to kill you if he walks in on us,” Kati whispered in his ear as he put his face into her neck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay put his hand on her inner thigh, rubbing small circles into her skin as his fingers inches higher. “Wouldn’t be the first time he threaten one of my siblings,” he mumbled, as he softly kissed her neck. “He’s taken with Nat again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s about to give him his first grandchild,” whispered Kati, as Jay’s fingers found her center.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And probably his second, and third, and fourth,” said Jay, before his mouth started to move down her chest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati closed her eyes and let him take over her body, she loved the feel of him on top of her. She loved the feel of his mouth on her, his hands, all of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She loved him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is her mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Smiling, laughing, her quick remarks, her harsh words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even the roll of her eyes, accompanied by her smile could make his heart melt. She was mean to only those she hated, and she was honest to the ones she loved. They sounded the same to most people, but it wasn’t.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She never smiled when she was honest, she smiled when she was mean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He loved her when she was mean.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay sat down beside his sister Nat and handed her one of the plates of food Aunt Emily had given him. He felt a little bad, but he had started using Aunt Emily’s house as a refuge. All three of his sisters were pregnant, Ali with her fourth, Claire with her third, and Nat with her first. His cousins Hannah and Leila were both pregnant also, Hannah with her fourth and fifth and Leila with her second.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was surrounded by pregnancy, and hormones, and babies. Watching all of his family change and grow and become mother’s again or in Nat’s case, for the first time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was used to it with the others, but Nat was something else, they were twins. They were once best friends, the closest people in the world, until they met the Cameron twins.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Johnny and Kati had become their best friends, the four of them had fallen into place together, growing closer and closer together. They would sometimes split off, JohnnyandJayandZac to go cliff jumping, until Johnny and Zac phased and Jay stayed the same.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then it became JayandNatandKati, the three left behind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The wolf thing didn’t bother him, it didn’t bother him one bit. He loved Johnny and he loved Zac and all of the wolves, the Pack had taken his family in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Claire was married to one, had given birth to her first child the day that Ali brought Jay and Nat to La Push for the first time in their life. Now Nat was engaged to one and pregnant with his baby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are you daydreaming about?” asked Nat, nudging him with her elbow and bringing him back to reality.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing,” said Jay taking a bite of whatever was on his plate. He didn’t question what he was fed anymore, not since he was a kid and he didn’t know where his next meal would come from, if it would come. “Just thinking about college.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“At least one of us will be going,” said Nat as she patted her stomach. Jay nodded and reached over, giving her stomach a pat of his own. He loved his nieces and nephews, all of them, but he wished that Nat had waited.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, we’ll see if I don’t flunk out,” said Jay taking another bite off of his plate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re too smart for that,” said Nat and Jay smiled into his food. “Don’t think anything else for a second.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s only two years,” Jay said quietly, stabbing at his green beans. He was going to be gone for two years to MIT for an accelerated programing degree. “And I’ll be back for the holidays and the summers.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not if you fall in love with some beautiful smart girl who’s also on scholarship,” said Nat as she put her plate on the coffee table. Jay rolled his eyes, he had taken on the same philosophy his sister had taken when she got pregnant. <em>Don’t ask and don’t tell</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I doubt that’ll happen,” Jay told her, as he tucked into his food, it was starting to go cold.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You never know,” said Nat, pulling her feet in underneath her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he did know, because the Cameron twins had their hold on them, both Jay and Nat were in love with them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is separation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Long or short, the periods don’t matter because they hurt, they hurt all the time. They miss one another, they miss each other all the time, it hurts like breathing. The separation makes it harder, makes it easier, makes everything a mess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. It’s a lie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati pressed her face into Jay’s neck, he was the tallest of his siblings, almost a full foot taller than her. She remembered watching him go through the growth spurts, he had grown like a weed, worse than Max or Marcus or even Johnny.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was actually taller than Johnny, something that always made Johnny feel a bit insecure.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati felt his arms wrap around her chest, his family had all said goodbye, and Kati had driven him down to Seattle to send him off. She had even parked the car and walked him to security.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t want to go,” whispered Jay, and she kissed him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was time, there would always be time, but he needed to make something of his life. He couldn’t get stuck in La Push.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Send me a stream of the news every day,” whispered Jay, as Kati pulled away, he was crying, but his voice didn’t waver. “Even if you didn’t write anything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” she whispered, hearing her voice break on the one word. “I will.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay kissed her, holding her tightly and running his fingers through her hair, undoing the careful braids she had put into them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come visit me,” he whispered, before kissing her again. “Come to Boston as soon as you can.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll try,” whispered Kati, pressing her forehead to his. “It’ll take a while.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay kissed her again and Kati wanted to find somewhere to hide with him. She wanted to show him just how much she loved him, how much she would miss him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kati,” whispered Jay, and she pulled away, she couldn’t. She couldn’t let him try to stay, try to go back home with her. “Runaway with me, just this once, runaway.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She kissed him one last time and pushed him away. “Go,” she told him, as he took her hands. “We’ll be okay, we’ll figure something out, I promise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay nodded and Kati watched him walk over to security, she watched him until he disappeared. She stood until she heard his flight being called, then she walked back to her car. The tears started falling when she found the first drugstore, they didn’t stop when the pregnancy test came out positive.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is communication.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Phone calls, emails, letters, conversations back and forth, two sides of the same coin. It’s her singing over the phone, him writing poems at the end of his emails, and her writing little X’s and O’s on the edges of each letter, like a border.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s crying over the phone, because they miss each other. It’s sending pictures of Boston and La Push, because they want to be there. It’s doodles and well wishes and stories that go nowhere in letters that get sent through snail mail.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s a collection of words, written and spoken, sent back and forth to each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s not the truth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay felt edgy and caged and nervous as the plane touched down. He had missed births and birthdays and holidays and his life, while he was gone. Two years had turned into four, had turned into an internship, had turned into a life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He still missed Kati through it all.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The phone calls had dropped first, both of them getting too emotional over the phone. The emails had slowed too, only to the occasional clip of one of her stories or pictures of the coastline they loved so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The letters lasted though, they kept coming twice a month like clockwork. Some had tear stains and smudges, others were crisp and clean. Some were short with next to no real news, while others were so long it took him several days to read and even longer to reply.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He finally jumped on a plane after getting the letter filled with pictures.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was the little girl with the two missing front teeth, with Kati’s brown eyes, and Jay’s nose and ears that made him jump on a plane.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She never told him that she was pregnant, that she was pregnant with his baby, that he had a daughter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had reread every letter she had sent him over the last six years, reaching for his phone several times to call, only to call Nat instead. She just told him to come home if he was so worried. He read in between the lines, <em>she didn’t want you to waste your life</em>.</p>
<p>Nat and Johnny and their three kids, two of his nephews and one of his nieces, were all waiting for him. They even made a little sign for him, and he felt his heart drop.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jay,” said Nat, as he dropped his bags and pulled her into a hug. Six years was too long to be without her, he suddenly felt like he could breathe for the first time. He didn’t always understand this life, his life, but Nat he could understand, would always understand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve missed you,” Jay whispered, holding her tightly. He only managed to let go when her youngest son started pulling on her pants.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jay, this is Thom,” said Nat, as she patted her son’s head, and Jay bent down and picked him up in his arms. He had missed his birth and his birthdays and so much else in his sisters’ lives, his nephews and nieces lives.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey there,” said Jay as he held him, playing with his nephew’s hair. “I’m your Uncle Jay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thom smiled at him, and Jay knew that something was right in the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is secrets.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Usually kept together, usually shared between the two in love, usually as two against the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two against the world is the secret. It’s the secret to love, of two people being in love, of Jay and Kati. They are masters of keeping secrets, Jay and Kati have always been secrets. Secrets is what their relationship was built upon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati played with Jaelyn’s hair. Her daughter had been born with a head full of wispy black hair, soft to the touch and over an inch long. She then put her lungs to good use, screaming her head off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati had been sure that her daughter had been possessed by demons, but it turned out she had been just as loud as a baby. She and her brother had been wanted so badly by their parents, their mother had six miscarriages before she and Johnny were born.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She couldn’t imagine six miscarriages, considering she never had to suffer from even one. She had Jaelyn, her daughter, her pride and joy, Jay’s baby girl.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mama, can we go to Auntie Nat’s?” asked Jaelyn, as they walked along the beach. Kati smiled and took her hand, pulling her away from the water.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure thing baby girl,” said Kati as she walked, leading Jaelyn along. She loved that her daughter always wanted to be around her family, even if it seemed like too much at times. Jaelyn had three aunts on her father’s side and three uncles too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati walked in through the kitchen door, her brother gave her a key when they moved in shortly before her oldest nephew Timothy was born. That had been days after she had finally broken down and taken a pregnancy test.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No one was home, which was odd, as Nat spent most of her time at home, writing and editing stories for an online e-book publisher. She had three children under the age of six, including her sixteen month old daughter Erinn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaelyn ran straight to the living room and Kati followed after her, turning on a movie for her and flipping through the latest manuscript that Nat had printed off. Nat wrote horrible cringe worthy romance novels and edited even worse ones for the website.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati actually loved to read them, it was one of the few guilty pleasures she let herself have.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mama,” said Jaelyn, climbing up into Kati’s lap and tucking herself into her side. Kati played with her hair, six years ago she couldn’t have begun to imagine herself with a baby. She was still struggling with the fact that Nat was pregnant, that she was going to be an aunt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was still sleeping with Jay at the time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati opened her eyes at the sound of the front door opening and closing, and then the yelling of the kids. Tim and Thom jumped on the couch beside her, waking up Jaelyn, who sprang out from Kati’s arms and at her cousins.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We set up the futon in the office for you,” said Nat, as she walked in the front door, holding Erinn in her arms with her head turned to the person still outside. “But if you want to stay with Claire or Ali, that’s fine also- Hey Kati!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati stood up and took Erinn from Nat, she honestly missed having a baby, even if she didn’t enjoy being pregnant with no support. “Hey, we just let ou-“</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Kati,” said Jay, walking up the steps, several bags weighing him down. He looked so different now; his hair was cut short and neat; he had new glasses, black with square frames; and his ear was more pierced than before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he still had the small scar on his upper lip from where he cut himself the first time he tried shaving; his eyebrow was still pierced from a dare by his cousin Zac; and his nose was still slightly crooked from when he got into a fight with Johnny when he and Nat first started dating.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was still Jay, just new and improved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mama! Mama!” yelled Jaelyn, coming to pull on her shirt. Kati looked down at her, she was Jay’s carbon copy, just with her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” said Kati softly, looking from her daughter to Jay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s been a while.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is coming back together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Falling back together, growing into one another, becoming what you need to be with the people you want. It’s finding yourself growing back together, it’s being together again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Again is a word most don’t get to say. Some believe that you only get one great love in this lifetime, that’s not true.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes you get several great loves, sometimes you get several great loves but space in between. Sometimes you get several great loves with the same person, with time and space in between.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is not always great. Love is not always coming back together. Love is not always what you expect.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay sat across from Kati, she looked the same as when they were teenagers. The same as the last time he saw her. Her long hair was braided back like how she always had it, she had all of her piercings in, just like her mother, and her eyes were lined with black making them look lighter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was just as achingly beautiful as when he first met her at eleven, now she just had more curves. Now she had a child.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watched as she cut up chicken and broccoli for Jaelyn…Jaelyn, he had a daughter named Jaelyn. He didn’t know what her name meant, but it was beautiful, it was the first half of his name and the second half of hers. Jason and Kaitlyn, Jaelyn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How long are you back?” asked Kati, and Jay looked down at his plate.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A couple of months, I can work from anywhere as long as I have a computer and a wifi connection,” said Jay, looking up just enough to see her nodding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Must be nice to just take off,” said Kati, and he heard the annoyance in her voice. He knew that he was lucky, that he had a good job that gave him the ability to run off with only an emails notice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ve finally just got to the point of being able to do that,” said Jay, pushing his food around his plate. “It felt a little weird actually.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The studio would fall apart if Kati left,” said Johnny, waving his fork at Jay. “She’s writing all of their big stories now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?” asked Jay, looking from his brother-in-law to Kati, “Kat, that’s amazing.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watched Kati blush, her cheeks turning red, making her look more beautiful. He remembered that he used to make her blush all the time, he would do whatever he could to make her blush. He even once tickled her until she peed herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s nothing,” said Kati, as she looked down at her plate, “they just like my writing, that’s all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well you’re an amazing writer,” said Jay, thinking of all the letters she sent him over the years. All of the letters and emails, all of the phone calls they used to have, back when they had time for that sort of thing. “You always knew how to make a story interesting.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati blushed again and Jay smiled, they were going to fall back into place, he was sure of it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Later, after dinner had been put away and the dishes washed, Jay walked Kati and Jaelyn home. He carried Jaelyn in his arms, the weight of her felt warm and familiar and perfect, just as she was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You didn’t tell me,” he said, as they walked along the beach to the small cottage she lived in. It wasn’t too far from her parent’s house, or his sister’s. “You could’ve told me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I didn’t want to ruin the chance for you to move forward with your life,” said Kati, as she brushed her hair out of her face. “We’ve been fine.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I would’ve liked to be in her life Kati,” said Jay quietly as they came up to her home. “She’s my daughter too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jay,” said Kati quietly, unlocking her front door, and opening it for him. “What happened was unexpected. I thought that you would’ve come back for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and I would’ve been able to tell you in person.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What about the phone calls, the emails, the letters? I have a shoe box full of letters that you sent to me and none of them even mention her… Jaelyn,” he whispered, standing in her doorway as she turned on the hall light. She crossed her arms and turned around to look at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jay,” whispered Kati, holding her arms out for Jaelyn, “I didn’t want to ruin all of the work you put into your life, that you put into MIT and your internship. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to pack everything up and come back here. I didn’t want you to be miserable because I trapped you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So you chose not to tell me anything?” asked Jay as he handed over Jaelyn, he felt empty without her in his arms. He put his hands into his pockets for something to do, now that the weight was no longer holding him down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I chose to let you have your life <em>Jason</em>,” said Kati, and he nodded. In the whole time that they had known each other, they had never called each other by their first name.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kati,” he said, stepping forward, “you should’ve told me, I wouldn’t have been miserable out here. I wouldn’t have taken the internship.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s not the point,” said Kati, turning away from him and walking down the dimly lit hallway. “That’s not what I wanted for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“And you think this is what I wanted for you!” yelled Jay, finally feeling himself snap. Kati turned around, Jaelyn still asleep in her arms and glared at him, another first.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Keep it down, Jay, she’s sleeping,” she hissed through her teeth. “Let me put her down, we can talk in a minute.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay stood outside the bedroom, waiting for her to come out. He knew that she wouldn’t just leave through the window, like he used to when they were younger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He sometimes wished that her father caught him coming and going to her bedroom. Then they would’ve had to define what they were, what they are. They had played around, pretended that they weren’t dating, weren’t in love with each other. They pretended that they were just friends.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Friends didn’t love each other like breathing, they didn’t cry as they walked through security, missing the other more with every step. They didn’t stop calling because hearing the other person’s voice made them cry until they couldn’t breathe anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay looked up when Kati walked out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. In the dim light from the hallway, her eyes looked darker, her cheekbones more defined. Without thinking, he stepped forward, closing the space between them and kissing her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was like being eighteen again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is remembering.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remembering all of the jokes, all of the stories, all of the details of their lives. It’s remembering the songs that they used to scream into the night, loud and excited and unbashful. It’s remembering the good times and the bad, it’s remembering the beginnings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first time they met, the first joke they shared, the smile that they gave each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s all in the details, the little details that don’t matter, but only matter at the same time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati traced along Jay’s cheekbones, trying to map all of the details she had once known by heart. She always loved his face, his eyes, his nose, his jaw. She loved everything about him, once upon a time ago, once upon a time ago wasn’t that long ago.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That tickles,” he slurred, his voice full of sleep. “Stop it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati giggled and leaned forward to kiss him, the feel of his lips were so familiar, so perfect against hers. She moved closer, letting her fingers get tangled into his hair, letting herself get wrapped up in his arms.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay sighed and Kati felt his hands move up along her spine. He knew exactly what she liked, exactly how to hold her, exactly what to do to make her head spin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He kissed her softly, rolling her over so he was on top of her, and she closed her eyes as he pushed into her. It was how the night had gone, over and over and over again. She felt eighteen again, she felt like she was just falling in love with him all over again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jay,” she whispered, when he put his face into her shoulder, feeling herself start to drift off again, sure that he was. “Jay, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I should’ve come back, should’ve kept my promises,” whispered Jay, as he held her close. “I want to know her Kati.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want another baby.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She let the words hang in the air, because it was the truth. She wanted to say more, knew that she needed to say more. But this was her way of telling him that she wanted him to stay. Wanted him with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kati,” whispered Jay, lifting his head to look at her. The desire in his eyes, the fire so deep and burning made her wonder if this was what imprinting felt like. “I love you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mama,” said a small voice from the other side of her door, and Kati sighed into his neck. She was a mother before she would be anything with Jay again. It was how this worked, it was what this was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Time to get up,” she told him, climbing out from under him and out of bed. She pulled on a pair of underwear and a tank top before quickly opening her bedroom door and closing it behind her. Jaelyn stared up at Kati with her eyes and smiled at her with Jay’s smile. She bent down and picked her up, suddenly feeling tired, the lack of sleep and the fading adrenaline getting to her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Morning baby,” she whispered as she carried Jaelyn into the living room and sat her down in front of the TV. She got started making eggs and toast a few feet away in the kitchen, while also putting on a pot of coffee. She stared out at the water that she could see from the kitchen window, the waves pushing and pulling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sighed when she felt Jay’s arms wrap around her waist and his head rest on her shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t know what was going to happen, how this was going to work, if it would work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let’s do it, Kati,” he whispered, his breath warm against her ear, her neck. “Let’s have a baby.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati took a deep breath and let it out slowly, watching the waves push and pull, push and pull. She had thought that he would run away, that he would leave her and Jaelyn.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I won’t leave this time. Promise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati closed her eyes and nodded, putting a hand over his and bringing it to rest on her stomach. She was going to have baby with Jay… again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Again was a powerful word.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is a baby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Which is to say it’s family, it’s children, it’s time and patience, it’s two coming together, becoming one. It’s the love of two people, growing and changing and becoming more, becoming a person.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s Jay and Kati.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay picked up Jaelyn and carried her into her bedroom, her half of her bedroom. The other half was painted green with cream colored poke-a-dots, courtesy of his sister Claire.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not tired,” said Jaelyn through a yawn, her eyes struggling to stay open as Jay placed her on her bed. “Mama’s not home yet.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know,” Jay told her, tucking her hair behind her ears, before lightly stroking down her nose. “But she’ll be here when you wake up, I promise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can I sleep in your bed?” she asked, her eyes staring to close. “So I know when Mama gets home?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How about I stay here until you fall asleep?” asked Jay, because there was barely room for him and Kati in their bed, let alone adding in Jaelyn. Jaelyn looked so much like Nat, like him, that it scared him at times, but she had Kati’s eyes, just her eyes and nothing more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was a Young, there was no denying that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” she mumbled, as he played with her hair. He ran his fingers through her hair, over and over again, she was so peaceful when she slept, so calm. He kissed her forehead when he knew for sure that she was under and tucked her covers around her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I knew you were going to be better than me at this,” said Kati, as he closed Jaelyn’s door carefully. Jay looked at Kati, leaning against the wall, her arms crossed over her swollen stomach.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You should say goodnight,” he whispered, his hand still on the door, and Kati rolled her eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t want to wake her,” she whispered as she crossed the distance to him, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly as he held her. He felt the baby kick against her stomach and smiled, he was so happy that he got to have her, got to be with her this time around.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then let’s go to bed,” he suggested, as her lips moved down his jaw and neck. He took her hand and led her down the hallway to their bedroom, pulling her into bed and letting his hands wander.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Will you marry me?” she whispered, as Jay rubbed her bare stomach. The skin was soft but stretched tight, their next daughter would be born within days.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” he whispered, moving forward and kissing her, holding her face in his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He was reminded of her parents, how her mother had asked her father to marry her hours after their high school graduation and how they did it. He remembered coming over to her house when they were little and finding her father singing to her mother, as they danced in the living room, or cooked together in the kitchen, or tucked them into bed together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay never knew his father, but he knew that his parents didn’t love like how Kati’s parents did. They didn’t love like how Jay loved Kati.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you,” she whispered, when he finally pulled away, her forehead resting against his.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay nodded and kissed her again, “I love you too, Kati.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is marriage.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It can go sour if the work isn’t put into it, it can stay sweet if the work is put into it. It can be happy if the couple is happy, it can be hard if even one is sad. It’s two people who love, two people who love each other and the life they built together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s more than a simple exchange of vows, it’s more than love, it’s all commitment. It’s two verse the world, it’s Jay and Kati against the world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati stared at herself in the mirror, Katrina was tucked into her side, her dark eyes drooping as she fought off sleep. Kati smiled and turned away from the mirror, she would fix what needed to be fixed later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She sat down in the rocking chair that someone had passed off to her when she was pregnant with Jaelyn and started rocking. The motion still put Jaelyn asleep on bad nights and always got Katrina to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Shh, baby,” whispered Kati as she brushed her fingers through her hair. “It’s okay my love, it’s okay to sleep.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katrina nodded off against her breast and Kati stared down at her, there was something magical about watching her daughters, <em>daughters</em>, sleep. All of their fight, all of their stubbornness disappeared and relaxed and peace took over.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you ready?” asked Nat, from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come in,” said Kati, and Nat walked in, Erinn of her hip. She sighed at the sight of Kati as Claire and Ali followed her in. Claire’s daughters, Cara and Mari followed them in, Mari stumbling around as she walked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you still not dressed?” asked Ali, as she took Katrina from Kati’s arms. “Or are you planning on wearing that?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati walked over to the mirror, she was wearing the same sundress that Nat got married in, all of the next generation Pack girls got married in, her something old. She felt Nat start to brush out her hair, before carefully putting the braids back into it, this time adding in flowers and ribbons and feathers, her something blue. Claire walked around her, before pulling out something small from her purse and handing it over to Kati.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We wanted to get you something, to welcome you in to the Young family. It was our grandmother’s, we got the crystals replaced with diamonds for you,” said Claire, as Kati opened the box, her something new was a pair of earrings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you,” said Kati, putting them in and smiling at her reflection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You can wear this too,” said Ali, pulling her necklace off and fixing it onto Kati’s neck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a locket, delicate and silver and so pretty, Kati played with the chain, sliding it over her fingers, her something borrowed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think we’re ready,” said Nat, and Kati looked up at herself in the mirror, she didn’t look like herself, not anymore. She looked like her mother.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kaitlyn,” she heard a voice from behind her and Kati turned around to see her mother, holding Jaelyn’s hand. “You look beautiful.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It hit her just then that she was getting married, after today, she would no longer be Kaitlyn Cameron, and instead she would be Kati Young. She would be Kati Young, married to Jay Young, the love of her life.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t need an imprint, the weird magic of her ancestors to prove that they were perfect. And after growing up with her parents, watching them fight for each other every day, she knew that the imprint was just a nudge, it depended on what you did with it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is family.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I promise,” said Jay, as he held her hands in his. “I promise as long as I can.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watched as Kati smiled, her eyes wet and dewy, tears close to spilling over. He smiled and squeezed her hands, before bringing them to his, kissing each of her fingertips. He loved her with his whole heart, with every piece of his being.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I promise,” she said, her voice breaking, and he couldn’t think of anything more beautiful. “I promise myself to you and our family.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t hear Jacob Black after that, his world was spinning as he kissed her, the world going hazy. He kissed her as if they didn’t have an audience, didn’t have a crowd of their friends and family watching them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If he was honest, he never thought that he would get married. His mother was so sad, then angry, then bitter and mean. He didn’t want to see himself turn into that. Even after all of his sisters got married, he didn’t think it would happen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He hoped that it would, he hoped that it would be Kati, and here she was in front of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati pulled away first, tears still on her face as she smiled at him. Jay held her face in both of his hands and smiled, she was beautiful, she was perfect.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kati girl,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to hers. “Kati I love you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know,” she whispered, smiling through her tears. “I love you too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He thought of the shoebox full of letters back in Boston, to where he was taking her on their honeymoon. Where they would pack up the things he wanted and sell the rest, before coming home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was only for a long weekend, Jaelyn and Katrina would be home with her parents or his sisters. They would be home in La Push and he and Kati would be away in Boston.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The thought made his heart break, but it had been so long since he told Kati to come visit him. Now she would be coming with him, with him to pack up his things and come home. Home to La Push, home to where he belonged.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love <em>is</em> home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The place that raised you, the place that brought you up and changed you and made you into the person you are now. Home is more than just four walls, more than a house that you grew up in. Home is the family that you chose and made and grew up with.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Home is Kati. Home is Jay. Home is Jaelyn and Katrina and Jayce and Katalina and Janelle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati smiled at her daughters, her four perfect little girls. It was still odd to her to have four daughters, four perfect and beautiful daughters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mom!” said Jaelyn, already pouting, already a teenager. Today was one of the days that she felt too young to have a teenager, to have a fourteen year old when she also had a four year old and a five year old and was pregnant with another.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes Jaelyn,” said Kati as she looked up from her laptop, from the story she was working on for the station. She had learned quickly that it was easier to stay calm with Jaelyn when she started yelling than to get loud with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want my own room,” she said, stomping into the kitchen from the living room. Kati rolled her eyes and turned back to her computer. She rested her hand on her stomach, where baby number five, Janelle they had decided, kicked against her hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Jaelyn,” said Kati softly, looking at her oldest daughter, her stubborn little girl. She was aging before her eyes, growing more and more, becoming more of a woman with each passing day. “You know we can’t do anything about that right now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jaelyn rolled her eyes and sat down in one of the unmatching chairs at the table. She played with the ring on her finger, a gift from Jay after Katrina was born, she was finally big enough for it to fit on her finger. “Because of the baby?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Because we don’t have the room,” Kati told her, as she reached for her daughter’s hand. “You are about to have a fourth younger sister, sweetheart. We don’t have room for Janelle, let alone for any of us to have our own room. I have to share with your father, anyways.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You love dad though!” groaned Jaelyn, throwing her hands up in the air. “You love him and don’t have to share with Katrina.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I remember when I was pregnant with Katrina and you were very excited to share a room with her,” said Kati, as she took Jaelyn’s hand and put it on her stomach, right where the steady kicking was hitting her. Jaelyn’s face soften and she sighed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why can’t we move? There’s no room for any of us anymore,” said Jaelyn, as she rubbed Kati’s stomach. “We’re about to be seven mom.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know,” said Kati, turning back to her laptop, to the story she needed to send off before four. “But you also know that this is our house, our home, Jaelyn. You were raised in this house, just as your sisters will be raised in this house.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” said Jaelyn, putting her head down on the table like Kati had seen Jay do a thousand times. She looked more like him now than when she was little, back when looking at her hurt somedays because she missed Jay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay,” whispered Kati, squeezing her hand. “Good, now go play with your sisters or something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They just want to braid my hair though,” said Jaelyn, getting to her feet and shuffling into the living room, Kati smiled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good girl,” said Kati, as she watched Jaelyn sit down in between the three younger girls that made up their family.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is magic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Magic that doesn’t touch them, but will touch their children. Magic that doesn’t live in them, but is seen in their children. Magic that doesn’t exist to them, but does exist for their children.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Magic is subjective anyways. Magic is what you make of it. Magic is love that can’t be touched or seen or thought of.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Magic is not for Kati and Jay, but it blooms in Jaelyn, in Katrina, in Jayce and Katalina and Janelle. Magic is their children.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay sat across from Liam Fuller.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Every hair on his body felt like it was standing on end, he didn’t know what to say, what to do, what to let Jaelyn and Liam do. He thought of his daughter, his stubborn and smart and sarcastic daughter, with a mouth that got her in trouble every day and a smile that got her out of it just as easily.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was too young, but he was much worse at sixteen. He had been with Kati at fifteen, lost his virginity to her on his birthday that year. It was just that Jaelyn was still the five year old kid who fell asleep in his arms as he carried her home, to this house.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I-“ said Liam, but Jay put his hand up, cutting him off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not going to make this awkward Liam,” said Jay, putting his hand back on the table. “I just want to say my part, and then we can never talk about this again.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Liam nodded and Jay smiled before he continued, “two of my sisters are married to wolves, and both of them got pregnant either in high school or shortly after. Jaelyn isn’t going to get stuck here, you’re not going to keep her trapped here.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Liam looked down at the table, but Jay kept his eyes on Liam’s hands. They were still for the first time since he phased.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’s my oldest, and I wasted a lot of time not knowing her until she was older,” said Jay, as he heard a noise upstairs, both of them glanced up at the ceiling. “I wasted so much time without her in my life, I’m not ready to let her go yet. I need you to promise me that you won’t take her from us too soon.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I promise,” said Liam, looking up at Jay, “I always keep my promises.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I always said that too,” said Jay, this time he looked down at the table, “until I broke my promise to Kati too come back. Then I missed the first five years of my oldest daughter’s life. I need you to mean this promise.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love her,” said Liam, glancing back up at the ceiling, “I know it’s weird and stupid and it doesn’t make sense, but I love Jaelyn. I’ve tried to fight against it for the last year, but I can’t stay away anymore.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What about when your family goes on tour this summer? She won’t be going on the road with you, she has a workshop in Seattle during July,” said Jay, he tapped his fingers on the table, a horrible habit that he picked up sometime between Jayce’s birth and Katalina’s conception.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ll endure, isn’t that what relationships do? Endure and fight and do what we can to make it work?” asked Liam, his hands stilling again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay didn’t quite know what to say, but it didn’t matter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, they do,” said Kati, putting her hands on Jay’s shoulders and squeezing softly. “And you need to understand Liam that she’s our daughter, you have younger sisters, I know, but Jaelyn is our little girl. You have to prove to us that we can trust you. I trust your parents, I grew up with them and love them like cousins, but it’s different now. We don’t know what imprinting means to you, because neither of us have experienced it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My dad never told my mom that he imprinted on her, not until about two years ago,” said Liam, avoiding Jay’s eyes, but instead looking up at Kati. “When I told them about Jaelyn and me, they told me to be careful, and to look at the two of you to learn how to love her right. Imprinting isn’t the only way to find love, to fall in love, the two of you are the proof of that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jay nodded, even though he knew that wasn’t true, Leah and Jacob had been before them. But it made sense that the younger members of the Pack wouldn’t know that, Leah and Jacob were in charge of the Tribe now, elders themselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What are all of you doing?” asked Jaelyn, as she walked into the kitchen. Her hair was braided back into something intricate and beautiful, weighed down with carefully picked feathers and beads and ribbons.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Threatening Liam,” said Kati, leaning over and kissing Jaelyn’s forehead, before Jaelyn went over to Liam.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nothing too bad right?” she asked Liam, as he stood up and took her hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, nothing I can’t handle,” said Liam, and Jay smiled.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe he had gotten through to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Love is Jay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~`~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kati hummed along to the CD in the car, the last time she had heard this song, she was driving home from Seattle after taking a pregnancy test.</p>
<p><br/>“<em>I'll take you there, my friend, I'm reaching out my hand, so take it, we are the angels, and we are the ones that are praying</em>,” she sang along as she glanced in the review window. Her youngest three daughters we’re all asleep, piled on top of each other. Katrina sat beside her, staring out the window.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had been hard to drop off Jaelyn, harder to get all the girls back to the car without Jay to help her wrangle them all in. She lowered the volume of the radio and turned to Katrina, reaching out to squeeze her hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She’ll be home soon, I promise,” said Kati, holding her daughter’s hand. “We can call her the second we get home too.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katrina looked at her, she was her copy, her mini with Jay’s nose and eyes. It was so strange to her that she could have children that looked just like her, that looked just like Jay. She had five daughters, all beautiful and headstrong and smart and funny. All of them were her children, were her own flesh and blood and love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is it okay that I miss her already?” asked Katrina, and Kati squeezed her hand again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes,” said Kati, pulling her hand back. She looked forward at the road, and turned the music back up, just to get the last few lyrics.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“<em>Peace, shalom, peace, shalom, peace, peace</em>,” sang Kati, as she looked in the review mirror, and drove forward, drove home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Home, where Jay was waiting for her, all of them. He would have dinner waiting for them, his glasses dirty and smeared, his t-shirt just as bad. He would welcome them home with open arms, with hugs and kisses, and even though Jaelyn would be missing, everything would be okay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you think!</p>
<p>Next up is Jacob and Leah, probably my favorite in this series.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Next chapter is about Kati Cameron, Kim and Jared's daughter!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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